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For some, it’s the hand perhaps intertwined with the photographer’s.
More daring “soft launchers” might opt for two cocktails, height-distinct shadows, or, if you’re truly fearless— the back of a suspiciously looking boyfriend doing something completely banal.
But the face? Absolutely not.
For years, daters have turned teasing a new romantic relationship on Instagram into an art form, revealing just enough to let followers know there’s someone new without actually identifying him.
Now, Instagram is getting in on the bit with a new feature that lets users pixelate their partners using Meta’s AI capabilities the same way you’d blur nudity, making it even easier to post a partner without really posting a partner.
It’s like dipping your toe in the ocean before you jump in. Always a little nerve-wracking — but always gives you a rush.
Adopted from the business world, where a product is quietly rolled out before its official debut, the “soft launch” is hardly new — it’s just now completely ubiquitous in internet dating slang.
Actress and comedian Rachel Sennott helped make the phrase go viral in 2020 with a since-deleted tweet congratulating someone on the “Instagram soft launch” of a boyfriend — represented only by an elbow and side profile, a classic and safe option for the soft launch.
With so much of our lives shared on social media, it’s equal parts disturbing and fascinating that to post, or not to post, has become such an integral question.
And even more minute, to tag or not to tag?
Tinder data in 2023 found 26% of 18- to 34-year-olds would rather soft launch a new partner, while just 8% preferred going straight to a full-blown hard launch, which can be daunting enough that Instagram feels like pixelating your partner is the perfect solution.
Lest we forget the lore of even acknowledging that you have a boyfriend, which, according to one Vogue article last year, has become basically embarrassing.
Essentially, social media feeds dominated by curated couple content were cringe, and subtle suggestions were chic.
Nashville resident Erin Malone, 34, debated posting her new partner until they were “officially official.” But after a birthday celebration last week, Malone told The Post she felt so special and decidedly Instagram-ready — sort of.
Her chosen reveal: a photo holding his hand from behind.
No face. No tag.
“I went with the hand-holding from the back route for a sense of mystery,” Malone told The Post, adding that the soft-launch came with “a little bit of nerves.”
But she was excited to hint to friends about the man who had made her happy.
Matchmaker Susan Trombetti said there actually may be something to keeping a budding relationship out of the Instagram spotlight.
“I actually do like the idea of soft launching, and I do think there is an art to it,” Trombetti, CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, told The Post.
And the ritual tends to skew female, she said.
“Men can do it, but it happens less frequently. I think men tend to post when they are fully ready — if they post,” the matchmaker reasoned.
She encourages clients to keep romances relatively private at first, rather than documenting every date and milestone before knowing whether the relationship has staying power.
“Not everyone needs to know your every move and your entire dating history,” Trombetti said.
A strategically cropped shoulder or mystery hand? Totally fine.
But Instagram’s new low-definition feature is where she draws the line.
“I am not a fan!” Trombetti said. “When it comes to blurring out an entire person, how about just holding off from posting?”
