Weather 
They’re not seeing red.
Target has officially crashed the ultra-exclusive Hamptons scene — but don’t expect the big-box signature scarlet bullseye to glow among the East End’s multi-million-dollar estates.
To comply with Bridgehampton’s notoriously strict commercial laws, the big-box hub unveiled a muted grey storefront with tidy white shingles and a matching all-white bullseye sign. In a statement, the Minneapolis-based store said the design choice was “to reflect Bridgehampton’s coastal vibes.”
Because of the hamlet’s laws banning brightly lit signs, the bullseye also has no internal illumination. Instead, it’s meant to glow through some subtle overhead lights. The design scheme is mirrored inside the retail haven, where the ghastly fluorescent lights endured by most commoners have been swapped for tasteful hanging light fixtures surrounded by basket-woven shades across the 90,000-square-foot store.
The best part, according to design fiends like Feed Me founder Emily Sundberg: Custom-printed toile wallpaper starring the store’s beloved English bull terrier as he trots around a Hamptons horse show, past an open bottle of local Wölffer rosé and across the famous Beebe windmill.
It took seven years for Target to secure its first Hamptons hub, which was once the site of a K-mart. Now it lies mere miles from the Bridgehampton homes of billionaires like commerce secretary Howard Lutnik and Boston Celtics co-owner Wyc Grousbeck. Madonna and Christie Brinkley are also proud residents.
“There truly was one site that would work for us,” said Target real estate chief Brandt Uthus in a statement, noting the chain spent years hunting down a location in the Hamptons’ only major shopping center. (Until now, local bargain-hunters had to drag themselves over an hour away to Riverhead just to grab toilet paper in bulk.)
But even the upscale touches — including Adirondack porch chairs at the front and a dressing area that looks more like a yacht club locker room — couldn’t please some social media moaners who claim to call Bridgehampton home.
“Some of us actually like Bridgehampton because it isn’t every other suburb in America,” said one Instagram wailer, calling the new superstore “another excuse for 500 distracted drivers to clog roads… At what point do we admit we’re destroying the very thing that made people want to live here in the first place?”
Cue the eye-roll emojis from other townies.
“Local born and raised,” wrote Southampton resident Bobby Huneken in a rebuttal. “We need this.”
Especially the custom bulldog wallpaper.
