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A new relationship style is on the rise — and it’s replacing commitment with binary code.
More modern couples are saying they’re “AI-poly,” defined as having at least one human partner plus one or more AI “companions” that provide everything from emotional support to sexual gratification.
Some proponents say it strengthens IRL connections — for example, in a recent survey of 1,000 adults who identify as AI-poly, 67% said their human relationship improved after adding an AI companion.
But other experts warn that AI-poly dynamics can erode intimacy between primary partners — or worse.
In August, a Stanford University study found that “dating” a bot is an easy gateway to AI psychosis, where deep engagement with a computer program fuels severe psychological distress.
Licensed relationship therapist Jaime Bronstein told The Post that the pros and cons of “AI-poly” relationships aren’t that easy to pinpoint — partly because “AI-poly” is such a recent phenomenon.
“It’s a relatively new concept describing someone in a committed relationship with a real person who also has strong feelings for an AI companion,” she explained.
Bronstein said that while this commitment isn’t on par with a human relationship, the feelings involved can feel very real to those experiencing them.
“They invest time, energy and emotions into this AI connection, which can be intense,” she added. “The question is, can we consider this a genuine relationship?”
The answer for many couples seems to be yes — but with key differences that need to be addressed early on between the humans in the relationship, according to sex and relationship coach Courtney Boyer, who identifies as polyamorous.
She underscored the key differences between traditional polyamory and AI-polyamory that couples need to acknowledge before adding a digital third to their partnership.
“Polyamory involves mutual relationships with people who have their own needs, autonomy and capacity to consent. An AI companion doesn’t offer that reciprocity,” Boyer told The Post, adding that because machines don’t have feelings or emotion-based desires, they can’t be a real substitute for a human partner.
Things get even more complicated because many AI “relationships” begin as mere chatter, then progress to something more intimate, depending on the prompts of the human — which might cross the line into cheating if the dynamic isn’t disclosed to one’s primary partner.
Certified sexologist and erotic filmmaker Angie Rowntree of Sssh.com told The Post that “every couple defines their own boundaries and expectations, including what they consider cheating. If an AI interaction becomes sexual or romantic, I think it’s important to talk about it so both partners can decide what they’re comfortable with.”
But the benefits could be real, even if the “companion” is virtual.
“An AI companion could give someone a low-stakes space to explore feelings, fantasies or needs that they may then be able to communicate more clearly to their human partner,” Rowntree said.
Bronstein echoed her stance:
“The best way to use AI is to help you go back to the people that matter, rather than taking you away from them… For instance, when things get heated, instead of saying something they might regret, someone could use AI to gather their thoughts and then go back to their partner when they’re feeling calmer.”
Indeed, a survey of US and UK men aged 22 — 45 found that 78% of respondents felt more comfortable discussing personal feelings with AI tools than with friends or family.
48% said AI let them practice difficult conversations in a low‑pressure environment, and 31% said this preparation encouraged them to start conversations they might otherwise avoid.
However, chatbots are built to be sycophants, agreeing with whatever the user says — which can create a dangerous feedback loop.
And evidence shows AI has a spotty track record with sound advice.
A 2025 study found large language models, or LLMs, like ChatGPT made inappropriate and dangerous statements to people experiencing delusions, suicidal ideation, hallucinations and OCD in at least 20% of studied cases.
And now, new research suggests Generation Alpha boys would rather have a robo-girlfriend than risk rejection and the formative challenges of an IRL relationship, which could seriously stunt their social skills.
The study, conducted by Male Allies UK, surveyed 1,000 boys aged 12 to 16 and found that a hefty 85% of them have spoken to a chatbot, 20% know a peer who is “dating” an AI chatbot, and over a quarter “prefer” the attention and connection of a bot partner to a real, human-to-human relationship.
A 2024 survey from Infobip found that nearly 20% of Americans have flirted with chatbots, while conversely — and concerningly — over 45% of Gen Z men have reportedly never asked a woman out in real life.
This is doubly dangerous for young minds who are more vulnerable to believing an AI is actually “attracted” to them. Really, these bots have just been programmed to keep their human users engaged.
That’s enough of a 16-bit red flag to give experts — and many real people — pause.
“We must consider the investment of time, intimacy, possible secrecy, sexual energy—and how the other human feels when their partner invests those things in the AI companion-relationship,” said Rowntree. The big problem she sees: AI can provide endless attention without human needs or boundaries.
“Then you risk developing a view of relationships that is more self-serving and one-sided,” she cautioned.
For couples experimenting with an AI third or beyond, Rowntree said “communication is key.”
“You both need to define what counts and what works best for the two of you. If you or your partner (or both of you) have an AI companion, it’s important that you both agree on limits.”
Rowntree recommends a “human first” guardrail, meaning a human partner’s needs come first in any relationship decisions.
“I would add that AI should never become your preferred place to resolve or avoid problems involving your human partner. If you stop talking to each other first, that can become an issue.”
And that issue will get more common, experts stress, as AI continues to improve and integrate itself into daily life.
“As AI systems get better at understanding us and responding in a way that feels personal, I think we’ll see more people getting comfortable with the idea of having an AI companion,” said Bronstein.
“It’s not a huge leap to think that some people will form strong bonds with AI, whether that’s emotional or even romantic. The question isn’t just whether it’s okay to have an AI companion, but what role we want AI to play in our relationships.”
