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DEAR ABBY: Fifty-two years ago, while in high school, I met a young lady. We hung out then and for two years after graduation. We did everything together, and at the time it seemed she was my soulmate. Then I dumped her with no explanation except that I had met someone else. I married that someone else within a year.
Twenty years went by, and during that time I reached out to the first lady a few times to wish her happy birthday and say that I hope all is well. After a few attempts at this, I received a certified letter saying I was to have no contact with her; otherwise, attorneys would become involved. It has now been 30 years of silence between us.
For more than half a century, I never thought about needing to apologize for leading that woman on when she was expecting our relationship to lead to marriage. In your opinion, would it be right to send her a letter to apologize for all the years of never saying I’m sorry, I was insensitive, and I was an idiot? — ANOTHER DUMB MALE
DEAR MALE: What part of “no contact” don’t you understand? This woman wants nothing to do with you, and rightly so. You broke her heart. No matter how profusely and sincerely you apologize, she is not going to forgive you. The letter you want to send would be for your benefit, not hers. Stop being selfish, and let her leave that emotional trauma in the distant past.
DEAR ABBY: There is an 8-foot privacy fence all around my backyard, except for a small path that goes from the corner of the driveway around the side of the house. You can’t see the path or the backyard from the street.
The other evening, I was grilling dinner when a pair of young women walked right up inside the fence. One of them introduced herself as a college student from Europe. At first, I thought they were hurt or something and needed help, but then they said they were selling magazines.
I asked them to back off my property and told them that strangers needed to use the front door to people’s houses. I wanted to add that, at least where I live, it can be dangerous to trespass, and they were lucky my dog was inside.
It seems obvious to me that backyards, especially fenced ones, are private, and they should have known better. Then I got to wondering if that is true everywhere. Are there places where letting yourself into a stranger’s fenced yard would be OK? (As an aside, I know they were probably not college students or legitimately selling magazines — that’s an old one.) — PRIVATE PROPERTY
DEAR PRIVATE PROPERTY: You are correct on every level. What these young women did was foolish, rude, illegal and potentially dangerous. In Europe, just as in the U.S., a backyard is sacrosanct, and strangers should never enter without an invitation. These “students” were playing dumb because they got caught, and every part of their story is pure malarkey.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. For nearly four decades, Jeanne Phillips penned this column, which was founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 270135, Kansas City, MO 64127.
