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An elderly woman’s heated early-morning interaction with two moms at an outdoor cafe has divided Australians.
Tensions erupted between the women at 7:15 a.m. one recent morning, Lauren Treweek revealed on her podcast, Ready or Not, this week.
Her friend and another mom were at the cafe, which only has outdoor seating, when a lady who ordered a takeaway coffee criticized their children’s behavior.
The customer, believed to be in her 70s, “sat down and said ‘tell your kids to be f—ing quiet,’” Treweek told her co-host Lucinda McKimm.
“I don’t think she said the f-word, but she said, ‘You need to tell your kids to be quiet.’ One of the friends who had a newborn baby turned around and said, ‘I’m sorry, they’re kids.’”
Treweek said her friend then turned around and bluntly added: “Get your takeaway coffee and go elsewhere, you vile woman.”
The podcast host praised her mate’s response.
“I thought, good on my friend for saying that because that is disgusting,” she said.
McKimm agreed, saying it’s “no wonder moms don’t feel welcome” in public spaces.
“It’s f—ing ridiculous. That just locks moms in their homes more. [If] anxious moms that already find it hard to get out have that experience, they don’t go to the cafe the next day – they stay at home and feel lonely,” she said.
Aussies clash over who was in the wrong
Despite the podcasters’ obvious outrage, their listeners were divided over the cafe encounter.
“Ugh fair call. If it’s not a playground, is running around and screaming appropriate? Moms want to take their kids to cafes and shops, but not teach them appropriate behavior,” one woman said on Instagram.
“It’s 7:15 a.m. They do need to be quiet! People are still sleeping. Be respectful!” another said.
“I have a food in each camp – kids in cafes are fine, and if they make some noise, that’s fine too. But they are not playgrounds, they should not have free rein to run around,” someone else said.
Supporters of the moms argued that people are “entitled to a child free life, not a child free world.”
“This whole thing of kids not being tolerated in public places where they are not even misbehaving is absurd,” a dad said.
The lively debate prompted one of the moms mentioned in the podcast to add her two cents in the video’s comment section.
“The kids were actually playing outdoors around a big tree with a built-in seat that’s part of a big outdoor setting for multiple businesses,” she said, adding that everyone “needs to relax.”
“The kids were running around having fun in a public area that also provides some seating for cafe patrons. The kids were being kids in a public area.”
Etiquette experts weighs in on cafe drama
Sydney-based etiquette expert Kate Heussler told news.com.au the debate “certainly is an interesting one,” and noted the severely divided commentary.
“I think there’s an important distinction between children behaving in a developmentally appropriate way and children genuinely disrupting others,” the mom-of-one said.
However, a cafe is not a playground; it’s a shared social environment where people often gather, she continued.
“If the children were chatting excitedly, laughing or occasionally raising their voices, I’d consider that perfectly reasonable,” Heussler said. Same goes for a newborn’s crying.
“Young children are still developing emotional regulation, impulse control and social awareness. We can’t reasonably expect them to behave like miniature adults when, if we’re being completely honest, a lot of adults fail to do that themselves,” she said.
However, if the children were running between tables, interfering with customers or creating a safety hazard, that’s a different matter.
“Parents have a responsibility to supervise their children, redirect inappropriate behavior and be considerate of those around them,” Heussler said.
If the customer was genuinely disturbed, she could have politely approached the moms or cafe staff, the expert explained.
As for the moms’ response, Heussler said she certainly understands a parent defending herself and her children against an aggressive stranger.
“Though it appears as if the exchange descended into a shouting match, neither adult was demonstrating particularly good etiquette. You can establish a firm boundary without escalating a confrontation, especially when children are watching,” she said.
“Ultimately, etiquette is about consideration flowing both ways. Children deserve patience and age-appropriate expectations, parents have a responsibility to supervise them, and other adults have a responsibility to communicate their concerns respectfully.”
