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Australian women say one crucial thing is lacking in modern dating—and they want it back.
No, it’s not grand gestures or fairytale promises.
It’s plain and simple romance—and women are concerned that effort, intention and emotional availability are quietly disappearing from dating.
A new study by dating app Bumble found that more than 80 per cent of single women want more romance in their romantic lives – amid growing frustration that dating has become overly casual.
“Our dating culture is notoriously laid back,” Bumble relationship expert Chantelle Otten told News.com.au.
“We need to bring romance back into dating, especially for Aussie men.”
Romance back on screen, but missing in real life
The findings land as romantic storytelling returns to the cultural spotlight, with Bridgerton back on Netflix, and a highly anticipated Wuthering Heights adaptation, starring Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi, on the way.
Audiences are once again drawn to the slow-burn desire and emotional depth of period dramas—something Otten says many women feel is missing from modern dating.
“These stories offer anticipation and intentionality,” she explains. “They slow romance down and make it feel meaningful.”
Bumble’s data reflects that shift, with two-thirds of women saying they want the kind of love depicted in these narratives.
The app has dubbed the trend ‘Storybooking’—a response to fast-paced dating culture and a growing appetite for emotional depth and intention.
What women actually want
The research found clear communication, emotional safety and mutual effort are women’s top priorities when starting a new relationship, with four in five saying these qualities can be just as exciting as mystery in the early stages of dating.
“Women still want the love story,” Otten says. “But now they also want that romance without emotional confusion.”
“They’re choosing partners who communicate clearly, make an effort and respect boundaries.”
The study also found seven in ten women feel more confident setting boundaries than they did a few years ago—a shift Otten says reflects a broader redefinition of romance.
“People haven’t stopped wanting romance,” she says. “They’ve just redefined it.”
Aussie men slammed for being too ‘lazy’
For Melbourne-based Alejandra, 30, the research mirrors her lived experience.
She describes Australian dating culture as “far too casual and nonchalant”.
“Men rarely approach women anymore unless they’re intoxicated,” she says. “I often find men dodging eye contact only to find me later on socials and message me.”
“It just feels really lazy.”
Alejandra says she’s dating with intention—not because she needs a partner, but because she already has a full life.
“I have a great life and have so much love to give,” she says. “I want to find someone who can offer me more than I can already do myself.”
For her, romance is about consistency, not intensity.
“In the early stages, romance should feel calm and intentional,” she says.
“Picking a great restaurant and making the booking, offering a genuine compliment, holding eye contact and being fully present.”
“It’s about someone taking the time to notice the little things and making decisions with that in mind.”
She—like many others—has been the victim of the classic ‘love bombing’ phenomenon, and says the difference between unhealthy intensity and genuine romance is simple.
“Consistency and pace is key,” she says. “Romance should feel calm and grounded.”
Eva, 21, who lives between rural Victoria and Sydney, shares the sentiment that dating culture in Australia often lacks passion—despite good intentions.
“There’s a lot of potential, but not enough effort,” she says. “There’s also widespread burnout from mixed signals, ghosting and emotional inconsistency.”
Like many women, she says romantic shows highlight what feels missing.
“Watching shows like Bridgerton makes you crave anticipation, intention and emotional depth,” she says. “Not the drama, just the thoughtfulness.”
According to Otten, romance itself isn’t the issue.
“Romance isn’t the problem—intensity without attunement is,” she says.
She explains that healthy romance still includes desire, flirtation and effort, but unfolds in proportion to the connection and respects boundaries.
“Healthy romance feels warm, energizing and safe,” she says. “Romance should add to your life, not hijack it.”
