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New Yorker Shardil Ahmad always imagined meeting his future girlfriend at a coffee shop: he’d spot her thumbing through a book, curiously approach and they’d fall into easy conversation.
“I very much describe myself as a romantic guy— I’m big into ‘meet-cutes’ and stuff like that,” said Ahmad, 28, recalling a time he met a woman on the subway.
So when his mom suggested a matchmaker, the first-year medical resident was skeptical.
“I wanted to be the one to discover this person,” he said.
But after a few months, Ahmad, with little time to spare outside the hospital after working six-day weeks, decided to sign up.
He joins a growing number of Gen Z singles seeking alternatives to algorithms amid reports of widespread dating app fatigue and declining user numbers. For some young people looking to foster connection in real life (IRL), matchmakers make sense.
“I’m just letting someone take the wheel,” Ahmad said.
CBS News
After the swipe surge, interest in dating apps drops
During the COVID-19 pandemic, dating apps saw record highs; Tinder recorded 3 billion swipes in a single day. Match Group, the parent company of dating apps like Tinder and Hinge, reported a surge in subscribers from the previous year.
Six years later, some disenchanted daters are logging off. Match Group recently reported a 5% decline in paying subscribers from the same period last year, as Gen Z embraces in-person opportunities they missed out on during the pandemic.
The Free Press: Tough Love: Do I Like Being Single Too Much to Fall in Love?
Maria Avgitidis, the founder of matchmaking agency Agape Match and a fourth-generation matchmaker, says she’s seen a rise in outreach from young singles. Matchmakers from across the country told CBS News they’re seeing an uptick in younger clients craving in-person connection and moving away from dating apps.
“Many of them graduated high school or college via Zoom, so they really do want that intentionality of in real-life experiences,” Avgitidis said.
Even though Gen Z is delaying marriage and parenthood, the majority eventually want those things, according to the latest available data from the Pew Research Center. Nearly 70% of adults ages 18 to 34, who have never been married, say they want to get married one day, with men and women equally likely to say they’d like to get married.
“If you’re not dating for marriage, what are you dating for?” Ahmad said.
Over the last decade or so, Avgitidis said she’s seen people burned out by online dating and seeking things a profile alone can’t reveal.
“The language dramatically shifted about why someone was using us,” she said, noting that things like values and politics don’t always come across in a dating app profile. She noted that Gen Zers especially tend to consider things like lifestyle, hobbies and having a life plan.
“They really appreciate and value authenticity,” she said. “It’s not so much about fitting into a certain aesthetic.”
Matchmaking is trending— but love isn’t cheap
A rising interest in matchmaking has been reflected in popular culture, from reality shows such as “Indian Matchmaking,” which has since expanded into “Jewish Matchmaking” and “Muslim Matchmaker,” to movies such as “Materialists” starring actress Dakota Johnson as a jaded Manhattan matchmaker, Lucy.
Matchmaking services can cost anywhere from a few thousand to a hundred thousand dollars, depending on what’s included. Some high-end matchmaking firms charge $15,000 to $25,000 for curated matches. Avgitidis said that at Agape, services can range from $30,000 to $100,000.
Working with a matchmaker is a multi-step process, usually involving an in-depth initial survey, a screening interview, and a consultation before a match is made, experts said. Matchmakers create detailed profiles of their clients and prospective matches, including information about their dealbreakers and preferences and religious and political ideologies.
For Ahmad, the financial aspect contributed to his initial hesitation about seeking out matchmaking services.
“How am I gonna spend this much on love?” he said.
But vetted matches and intentional dates ultimately felt like a time saver for Ahmad, who said he recognizes that the services may be inaccessible for some people his age.
“I would recommend anyone to do this if they had the time and financial capabilities to do so,” he said.
Members of Gen Z seeking the matchmaking experience, but feeling daunted by the price, still have options within the matchmaking world. Some matchmaking agencies have free databases, where you can submit a profile to be considered as a potential match for a paying client. Agencies also offer packages which can include individual coaching sessions, dating app profile feedback and dating support communities.
When in doubt, Avgitidis reminds daters that good old-fashioned meddling from family and friends is always an option. After all, dating used to be a collective experience, Avgitidis said, with friends and family members involved.
“One day, we all just started swiping alone on the couch,” Avgitidis said. “We are not meant to date alone.”
