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He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake.
And Santaphiles — adults who have the hots for Santa Claus — wouldn’t have it any other way.
“It’s always some older guy with a nice beard — and he wants to give you gifts?! What’s better than that?” 25-year-old content creator Kassidie Kosa, who first fell for Kris Kringle while watching Tim Allen in the “Santa Clause” movies as a child, told The Post. “And the dad bods are next level. I don’t care if they have abs. Give me the pudge.”
Or there could be other ways that Santa jingles one’s bells.
“Some people might also be turned on by this because they find Santa to be a character who lends himself well to BDSM role play,” Dr. Justin Lehmiller, senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and host of the “Sex and Psychology” podcast, told The Post. “After all, Santa is someone who tells you if you’ve been good or bad and doles out reward and punishment.”
“Santa babies” like Kosa — who admits she “totally (has) daddy issues” — are eager to celebrate and pay homage to their favorite man during his signature time of year.
“For some reason, the older I get, the older I want,” said Kosa. “I sound insane, but the gray hair, the pudge, the ‘in charge’ attitude is literally so irresistible.”
Kosa’s not the only one who has the hots for the holiday star.
Melissa Rosen, 47, a business consultant and CEO of matchmaking company Quality Select, discovered her own attraction to Kris Kringle at 16 — when she saw an off-duty Santa taking a break in a mall alleyway, smoking a cigarette and having a beer.
“I was, like, ‘Oh my gosh — it’s Santa off-duty,’ ” Rosen told The Post. “I just had this fascination of, ‘What is Santa doing in his off hours?’ That kind of started the crush.”
Rosen made the distinction that she personally prefers a younger version of Santa — bearded, with big palms and burly (but without too much belly). She also used to make it a point every Christmas season to go with friends to “sit on Santa’s lap,” though she keeps things more PG now that she’s a single mother.
“When Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I whispered in his ear and said, ‘You,’ ” Rosen recalled of her visit this year. “We had a good laugh.”
Rosen also shared that when she and her brother ask clients what kind of partner they’re looking for with their matchmaking business, they’ve observed that most people are “just describing Santa.”
“I think he represents a lot of things that both men and women want in relationships, like generosity,” said Rosen, who actively seeks to date men who look like jolly ol’ Saint Nick. “Jolliness, too, and that father figure aspect. There’s also (the aspect) of judging people only on the basis of whether they’ve been naughty or nice.”
Whether the attraction is innocent and even heartwarming or just plain hedonistic, it’s something that doesn’t always go unnoticed by Santa’s designated stand-ins.
Paul Mason, 61 — a former NYC model now known as “Fashion Santa” — has advertised himself as the chic version of the holiday icon since 2014, when he noticed his white beard was taking on a Kringle-like look.
While he doesn’t do adult entertainment, he’s amused that grown women take a liking to his Santa-fied vibe.
“It’s coming across (with) a little sophistication, with maybe a little bit of sexiness to it,” Mason told The Post. “It’s a bit tongue-in-cheek, kind of cheeky. I think people love that idea …I don’t see anything offensive with it, so why not?”
The consensual pull toward Father Christmas — or perhaps “Daddy” Christmas — is a kink that hasn’t been statistically quantified, according to Kinsey’s Lehmiller, who noted that there haven’t been enough studies done on Santaphilia to determine how many people harbor the festive fetish.
“This isn’t a topic that we know a lot about from a research standpoint, so the true prevalence of Santa kinks is unknown,” Lehmiller told The Post. “However, porn websites report that searches for Santa-themed porn reliably spike around the holidays, so we do know that some portion of the population is turned on by this.”
Indeed, searches for “Santa” on Pornhub are up 203% over the past 30 days, according to a company representative. Past Pornhub reports have noted that the phrase “naughty Santa’s helper” rises a considerable amount during Christmastime, with the more crass “Christmas f–k” also showing a seasonal spike.
Amanda DiChiara, 35, a New Jersey hair stylist who became drawn to Mr. Claus when she was 12, acknowledged that some people might find her attraction “weird,” but she emphasized that she’s most seduced by the way Santa captures the “spirit of Christmas.”
“I think (he) makes it more festive and almost spiritual — that’s where the attraction really comes in,” DiChiara told The Post.
“Also, having that big, fat man take care of you … I don’t know how else to say it.”
