Weather 
Bonnie Locket’s had a bit of bum luck in love.
Her sizzling looks, vibrant spirit and perfectly perky bum notwithstanding, the British bombshell, an OnlyFans model of six years, has endured back-to-back infidelity in romantic relationships, leaving her divorced, depressed and nearly suicidal.
But rather than giving in to distress, she instead got into a $20,000 designer wedding dress and married herself on Friday.
“I made the biggest commitment that anyone can make to myself,” Locket, 38, an England native now living in Ibiza, Spain, exclusively told The Post. “It was one of the best days of my life.”
With nothing more than a handful of friends, a few handwritten vows and a $27,000 pear-shaped, three-carat yellow diamond ring to slip onto her own hand, Locket locked herself into a pledge of sologamy.
It’s a symbolic, rather than legal, commitment sans the marriage certificate or marital benefits, being made by self-marrying singletons worldwide, from the concrete streets of the Big Apple (ranked the No. 1 place where US singles are most likely to die alone) to the sandy seashores of Ibiza and beyond.
As 2026 dating becomes eerily reflective of a cesspool — a sewage-filled wasteland fraught with cheaters, narcissists and kooks — guys and gals over age 30, like Lockett, are gladly seeking alternatives to the elusive happily-ever-after fairytale most millennials were once sold.
While some unmarried women are opting to become single mothers by choice, hosting sperm-spangled parties before embarking on partnerless parenthood, their male counterparts are partnering up with faux sweethearts made via artificial intelligence.
Actress Emma Watson, the heroine in blockbusters such as “Beauty and the Beast” and the “Harry Potter” franchise, shockingly came out as “self-partnered,” announcing her decision to exclusively date herself rather than sort through a heap of Hollywood hunks in search of a meaningful connection.
Selena Gomez and R&B singer Mya have, too, each said “I Do” to themselves — Gomez threw herself a solo wedding-themed bash in July 2022, years before tying the knot with Benny Blanco in September 2025 — celebrating the viral dawn of sologamy.
It’s now a fast-growing movement among everyday loners online, garnering several thousand hashtags across Instagram and TikTok, and triggering a marital trend rooted in unyielding, unconditional self-love.
Andria Johnson, a 40-something from Hanover, Maryland, shelled out a staggering $5,000 to join herself in holy matrimony with tropical nuptials in Tulum, Mexico, documenting her groom-free big day for millions across the internet.
Kshama Bindu recently became one of the first women in India to take the unprecedented solo plunge, saying she’s “realized that I don’t require a Prince Charming because I am my own queen.”
Locket now crowns herself royalty, too.
It’s a far cry from once feeling like a second-class citizen in the ill-fated marriage with her ex-husband.
“I was with my ex for 11 years, and we got married in 2023. We were married for only nine months before I found out he’d been cheating on me since the start of our relationship,” Locket told The Post, choosing not to share her former hubby’s name for privacy.
She called it quits on the marriage after learning the guy had secretly been sleeping with her sworn enemy.
“It was a big shock. There was no coming back from that level of betrayal,” Locket lamented. “I had to cut and run. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”
Unfortunately, the hapless pinup ran straight into the arms of another man who ultimately cheated on her, too.
The upset rendered Locket hopeless.
“I thought about killing myself. I didn’t want to be on this planet anymore,” the serial dater confessed, crediting her epileptic dog with offering the mental and emotional support she needed to survive the consecutive heartbreaks.
“I’ve been in a relationship since I was 14. This was the first time I’ve ever been on my own, going through the worst pain I’ve ever been through in my life,” added Locket, also grieving the sudden loss of a close relative who died in January.
“But over the past few months, since losing both relationships and my family member, I’ve gone to therapy, leaned on my dog and my friends, and learned to find happiness within, which I never thought was possible,” she said.
“My self-worth and validation always came from whichever man I was dating at the time,” continued the smoke-show. “Now that I’ve learned to do that for myself, I figured the transformation deserved celebrating.”
She resolved to ring in her new lease on life in April, after stumbling upon the engagement ring of her dreams while scrolling social media.
“I thought, ‘Why wait for some man to buy it for me? I want it and I want it now,’” she recalled. “So I bought it for £20,000 ($26,919) and thought, ‘I spent £15,000 ($20,193) on the Galia Lahav wedding dress I wore for my wedding that’s been stuffed away in a suitcase for the past three years.’”
“‘What if I married myself in the dress, changing the bad omen into a good one,’” Locket said. “‘I love myself, I love the ring and I love the dress. Why wait for someone else to give me the opportunity to enjoy this moment when I can just go for it?”
So, she did.
With only eight guests, including her best friend and an officiant, the siren solemnly swore to eternally love, honor and cherish herself while looking into a mirror stationed at the altar of her alfresco ceremony on Ibiza’s Cala d’Hort beach.
“Today, I chose myself. Not because I don’t believe in love, but because I finally understand that loving myself must come first,” Locket vowed. “I’ve spent my life dreaming big, loving deep, taking risks, making mistakes, getting back up and becoming the woman standing here today. I’ve loved, I’ve learned, I’ve lost and I’ve rebuilt.”
“Through every high and every heartbreak, I’ve always had myself.”
Championing herself as the “woman who never stopped fighting for her life,” Locket promised, “not to abandon myself while trying to be enough for other people. I promise to protect my peace, trust my intuition and to never shrink myself to fit inside somebody else’s comfort zone.“
“Most importantly, I promise to remember that the love I give myself will shape every part of the life I build,” she recited. “I’m not waiting for somebody else to complete me.”
“I was already whole.”
When asked if she will ever date again, the 38-year-old isn’t opposed to it.
“This was about me making a meaningful promise to myself. But I’m still very open to love. I’m a hopeless romantic, and I hope the vow I’m making to myself helps pave the way for the right person to come into my life and meet the happiest, healthiest version of me,” Locket said.
