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While most couples’ interests are poles apart, Misha and her husband, Sam, are getting down on the pole together.
For the Los Angeles newlyweds, who tied the knot in August, their $1,800, 10-foot stainless steel pole is a pillar of their marriage.
The couple ditched the traditional first-dance waltz for saucy flips and splits on the polished pole, stunning their 150 wedding guests. Now, the unapologetic pair’s steamy debut as husband and wife has racked up more than 300,000 views online.
The 33-year-olds are part of a rising swarm of sweethearts trading pickleball, predictable movie dates and board game nights for pole dancing to keep their flames burning.
In fact, men just like Sam, a 6-foot-1, roughly 230-pound hunk, are spinning circles around their wives and girlfriends on #PoleTok. It’s the sometimes-NSFW section of social media dominated by the 400,000 guys and gals of the discipline worldwide.
Some beneath the hashtag are shaking their moneymakers, well, for money — posting clips of their pole play in hopes of getting hired as in-person talent or driving new audiences to their OnlyFans pages.
Others, like the unblushing bride and groom, revere pole dancing as an athletic art that strengthens their bodies and deepens their intimacy
“There’s a lot of stigma around pole dancing, some people might think, ‘Oh, that’s just for strippers,’” Misha, a finance pro, told The Post. “Yes, it has sensual roots. But there’s so much athleticism that go into it. It’s a lot harder than it looks. We love it.”
Since posting their pole-dancing videos online, the duo has been hit with a barrage of nasty comments, from digs at Sam’s sexuality to sneers at their ‘weird’ and taboo antics.
But Misha and Sam, who chose to withhold their last name for privacy, aren’t phased by the flak.
“A lot of people think pole is just for women. It’s strange for them to see a guy do it, especially with his [female] partner,” said Sam, an engineer, who first suggested he and Misha give pole dancing a whirl in March. “I just don’t feed into the negativity.“
“There are times I have to hold all of Misha’s weight while we’re doing a move, or she may have to position herself in a certain way to accommodate me,” he added. “It’s like a metaphor for marriage.”
In New York City, Amanda Kenberg’s boyfriend, George Forchuk, shrugs off the shade hurled his way, too.
For the muscle-bound lovebirds, who are students at Pole Superwoman in Manhattan, the pulse-pumping workout has kept their hearts beating for one another since they first locked eyes nearly three years ago.
“George and I met at a pole dancing event so he wasn’t a stranger to it already,” said Kenberg, 32, an esthetician and waxer in Jersey City. “Pole dancing together is very rewarding. We get to see each other learn and fail, we record each other doing something we feel our best at — it’s really fun to see someone you love learning about themselves in real time too.”
As fitness enthusiasts, she and Forchuk, 35, a photographer, had each trained in martial arts and weightlifting.
But pole dancing side by side has strengthened both their bodies and their bond. Forchuk said his partner’s support and open-mindedness keep him going in the face of hate.
“Having to distinguish the art from those who believe pole dancing is just stripping gets really annoying,” he told The Post. “But I love making fun of dudes who are just not comfortable with themselves or their own relationships.”
“Their insecurity isn’t alpha or cute,” Forchuk asserted before scolding his anti-pole trolls. “Learn to enjoy and support your partner in everything they do.”
Sharing common ground can keep couples in pole position. According to Pew Research, more than 60% of married adults cite “shared interests,” along with satisfying sex, as key to a successful marriage.
Gotham-based sex and relationship therapist Cyndi Darnell told The Post that a strong connection is the “glue” that holds relationships together, praising physical activities like pole dancing for fostering “attunement” between partners.
“When engaging in a physical activity with another person, a co-regulation of nervous systems and heartbeats can occur, creating a sense of connection and communication that transcends words and conscious thought. That’s attunement,” said the expert and author of “Sex When You Don’t Feel Like It.”
“Through couples activities that require very close physical connection, you and your partner become one being during the exercise,” she continued.
Travis, a macho military man who pole dances alongside his wife, Laura, several times a week, agrees. The nontraditional twosome, from New Jersey, laud the sport as the cherry-on-top to their sweet 22-year union.
“As a couple, we’ve always been very into physical touch, so pole dancing can add to that in a way,” Travis, 43, an IT specialist and Army veteran, told The Post. “But it’s really helped us rely on one another, supporting each other in areas — both on or off the poles — where the other is in need.”
Travis encouraged Laura, 40, a nurse, to pursue the pole as a self-esteem booster in 2022, pointing her to Pole To Pole Fitness, with studios across NYC and NJ.
As many women often experience, changes to Laura’s physique left her feeling less than hot. But after pole reignited the bombshell’s confidence, she lassoed Travis into the risqué revelry, sparking his fire for the ankle hangs and pirouettes, too.
“It built my confidence. I started to get more comfortable and fell in love with the community, learning tricks and doing exercises that feel more like fun,” said Laura, who treats pole sessions with her not-so-shy guy “like a date night.”
Although admittedly “uncomfortable” at first, Travis, one in a handful of guys at the studio, credits pole with increasing his mobility, flexibility and agility, as well as his ability to remain in-sync with his significant other.
“We do dance lifts, mounts and dismounts on the same pole. I can pick her up and place her on the apparatus or take her off of one pole and gracefully walk her over to another apparatus,” said the ex-serviceman.
And he isn’t deterred by pole dancing critics — not even when the heckles come from his friends in the armed forces.
“They absolutely give me grief. But then at the same time, they’re also like, ‘Wow. It’s impressive that at 43 you’re still doing the splits and moving, doing things that we could never do,’” he laughed. “I’ve even booked private lessons for my Army and Marines buddies. Afterwards they love it just as much as I do.”
But the love of pole isn’t limited to the lover boys on US soil.
Domenico, a lifelong soccer player from Naples, Italy, told The Post that stealing a kiss from girlfriend Lauryn, 31, as they’re upside down in an inverted pike position on the pole is better than kicking the winning goal.
“I’d never really considered pole dancing as a sport because I assumed it was mostly practiced by women and that the benefits, such as flexibility, were mainly for them,” said the professional tattoo artist. “But now, I would absolutely recommend pole dance to men.”
Footage of their flirty, fiery moves has sent tongues wagging online.
Domenico first tried pole shortly after Lauryn became an instructor nearly six years ago. The Italian twirler turned to the art after a devastating family death sent her into a period of grief and weight gain.
Domenico took up pole to support his sweetie’s healing journey, never dreaming it would become their favorite pastime.
“Training together is genuinely fun. It’s something we want to keep doing,” said Lauryn, who’s already planning to transform a spare bedroom — earmarked for their future baby — into a pole room until she becomes pregnant.
“Pole’s helped us challenge ourselves, push beyond our limits and grow together.”
Gen Zers Tara Atienza and boyfriend Francis Santos, from San Diego, California, echo similar sentiments.
She learned to rotate and gyrate from strippers, whom Atienza, 22, affectionately calls “nighttime ballerinas,” and now regularly schools Francis, 21, on her nine-foot home tension pole.
“It’s considered the gold standard of poles. I’m teaching Francis how to do an ‘Ayesha’ on it now,” said Tara, a recent college graduate, of the advanced pole trick, for which a dancer suspends their body weight horizontally, or in a wide V-straddle, using an inverted two-hand grip.
“Despite the stigma around pole dancing, there’s a major emphasis on calisthenics,” said Santos, still an undergrad. “It requires a ton of skill, strength and coordination.”
The Gen Zers, who regale Atienza’s nearly 200,000 social media followers with their joint jigs, hope to quash pole dancing’s bad rap, making it more appealing to young and older couples across the generations.
“Pole isn’t specific to one gender, it’s literally for everybody and any type of body. I’m grateful to have Francis as my partner in life and in pole,” Atienza gushed to The Post.
“Doing anything with someone you love, will strengthen your relationship,” Santos agreed. “I wouldn’t want to do anything else.”
