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In a dating climate of endless swiping and low-effort messages, one woman has found a “genius” solution to finding ‘the one’.
Tired of the “random” influx of men messaging her on social media, comedian and content creator Celeste Joan decided to put her suitors to the test with a rigorous Google Form application.
What started as a unique quest for love quickly spiralled, with over 260 men submitting “romantic resumes” in a bid to score a date with the 29-year-old from Melbourne.
The creator told news.com.au that she didn’t expect the “lighthearted” test to “blow up” in this way.
“I’ve received hundreds of applications,” she confessed, overwhelmed by the sheer number of men begging to take her out.
Joan, who has been using traditional apps for a while, said she was completely “fed up” with their algorithms.
“The dating apps just show me the same type of people over and over, and their profiles don’t give me enough information to vet them properly,” she admitted.
Her solution? Grill the men via a strict questionnaire.
The form included a range of ‘casual’ questions like “Do you have a driver’s license?” and “Are you employed?” to “Are you a convicted felon?”
Joan also made her humorous deal-breakers clear — if a man indicated he “liked cats,” or didn’t support the Collingwood Football Club, his application was immediately binned.
Beyond the jokes, Joan is serious about her faith and specifically asked potential suitors if they “attend church”.
For the creator famous for her viral Italian Nonna reenactments, the ultimate hurdle was: “If I invited you to my Nonna’s house for dinner, what would you bring?”
One suitor quickly won the grandmother’s approval by suggesting he’d bring a “Bible and flowers”, leading ‘Nonna’ to declare: “Marry him now! He will love you and kiss your feet.”
Others didn’t fare as well, with one man suggesting he’d bring “Mama’s lasagne,” to which ‘Nonna’ turned up her nose and yelled: “They wanna bring their mama’s lasagne into my house?!”
Although her page is based around reenacting her grandmother, Joan said that her opinion genuinely means “everything” to her.
“She is wise and knows what’s right for me,” she shared.
While the process provided plenty of laughs for the creator, the data also exposed a few ‘red flags’ within the modern dating pool.
Concerningly, five percent of respondents actually admitted to having a criminal record.
Additionally 11 percent of the men didn’t have a driver’s license or own a car.
“So that would be a fun bike ride to the wine bar,” Joan joked, before adding, “I mean, with petrol prices today, fair enough.”
Despite the errors, like forgetting to ask applicants for a photo or an age range — Joan declared the experiment a massive success and hopes to do it again.
The comedian says she has already connected with “so many lovely men” she would have otherwise dismissed on the apps or social media.
For those still on the apps, Joan offers one piece of advice: “This is your sign! Skip the dating apps and just straight out send these men a Google form — maybe you’ll meet your husband.”
