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DEAR ABBY: My 20-year-old nephew, “Conrad,” has anger issues. His girlfriend recently broke up with him. He was upset and went to see his grandma, my mom. When Conrad pulled into her driveway, my mom’s boyfriend, “Rob,” was standing outside. Conrad told Rob to “stay out of the house.”
Conrad’s girlfriend was there talking to my mom. Conrad was visibly upset and went in, yelling and screaming. Watching from outside, Rob saw Conrad push Mom down. She fell on her hand and her bottom. Rob immediately ran into the house to make sure my mom was OK. Conrad then began yelling and screaming at Rob, calling him terrible names.
My sister, Conrad’s mother, knows what happened. I haven’t spoken to her about the incident. My mom has confided in me. I listened to her and tried to remain calm and rational. She wants to protect Conrad. What do I do? Do I mind my own business? Keep my nose out of it? This is my mom and my kids’ grandma. — SICK TO MY STOMACH
DEAR SICK: It’s no wonder that Conrad’s girlfriend ended their relationship. Heaven only knows how many times he has abused her. If your mother thinks she is helping her troubled grandson by remaining silent about the abuse she suffered at his hands, she is making a huge mistake. Conrad’s temper is out of control. He needs professional help before he hurts someone seriously. That said, there is nothing that can be done about this unless Mom decides to file a police report about the assault.
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DEAR ABBY: I’m a single 48-year-old male. I come from a close-knit family of four. I am my disabled nephew’s personal home caregiver, taking care of him 24/7, 365 days a year. I live a normal, happy life with no interference.
Lately, I’ve been stuck in a rut of sorts, and I can’t figure it out. I am a Type 2 diabetic who maintains and watches my health very carefully. I eat right and walk a mile or two every other day. I go to my doctor appointments when needed and stay on top of everything else that’s important for me and my family.
I have been feeling down and sluggish lately. I don’t know if I am having a midlife crisis or something else. I never married and don’t have children, so I am not sure what this could be. I don’t have any outbursts or PTSD. All I’m feeling is like life is slowing me down and I don’t know why. Please give me your thoughts. — NOT MYSELF IN NEW MEXICO
DEAR N.M.I.N.M.: My thought is this: You appear to be admirably in touch with your physical self. You are doing everything you can in that department. However, because you are so concerned about your change in mental health that you would write to me, this is something you should discuss with your doctor. If there is nothing physically wrong and your feelings of sluggishness and mild depression persist, it may be time to discuss them with a licensed psychotherapist.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
