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DEAR ABBY: A few years ago, my husband and I bought a home together with his sister. We share the bills and chores and, for the most part, it works. We live in a nicer home than we could afford on our own.
Frequently, though, my husband and his sister have discussions and make decisions regarding the house without including me. I have complained loudly and clearly each time I’ve learned this has happened. I don’t always find out. Usually, they’ll apologize, but the behavior does not change.
We have recently experienced significant damage to the house from a bad storm. Insurance and contractors will be involved. I have already learned about decisions that were made without my input. I think this is highly disrespectful, and I’m ready to move out. I would love your advice. — DISCOUNTED IN FLORIDA
DEAR DISCOUNTED: You need to make your husband and your sister-in-law understand that you are an equal partner in this deal. Why they think your input is of little value is anyone’s guess. Whether this will require the help of a mediator or marriage counselor depends upon how cooperative they are willing to be. However, if you continue to be ignored, you may want to consult a lawyer about what your legal rights are in this situation.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I lost our precious, beloved little dog a month ago. We have had other pets over the years, but as we got older, our little guy was like a child to us. He went everywhere with us.
We are having a terrible time handling this. For example, we went into the grocery store yesterday, and when we got to the pet food aisle, we both started crying. We cry every night at bedtime as we say goodnight to him in heaven. If we drive by a park where we walked him, we fall apart again. How can we cope? If we talk to friends or neighbors, we start crying again. Please help. — PET PARENT IN MICHIGAN
DEAR PET PARENT: Please accept my sympathy. The passing of a beloved furry family member is never easy. Because your loss is fresh, it’s no wonder that you and your husband are grieving. Contact your veterinarian, explain your emotional state and ask for a referral to a grief support group. (Yes, they do exist.) With time, your overwhelming emotions will ease, and you will remember “the little guy” and be able to smile again.
DEAR ABBY: Because the cost of cards and postage is so high, I have started sending fancy e-cards for many occasions (except Christmas). I spend as much time selecting the right e-card as I would in a store selecting a paper card. I do send paper cards to friends and family who have expressed a preference. Are e-cards less acceptable than paper cards? — SENDER OF GREETINGS IN OREGON
DEAR SENDER: E-cards have gained in popularity for the reasons you mentioned. I do not consider them less appropriate (or welcome) than paper cards. It’s the thought that counts. Readers, would you like to weigh in on this? I am interested in your opinion.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
