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DEAR ABBY: My husband and I married 20 years ago. We have a blended family of eight kids, but it’s just us now.
Our kids are scattered across the country. Over all these 20 years, we have never taken a vacation just for us. We have always visited family.
Now, after scrimping, saving and planning, our dream trip is finally happening. We are visiting Disneyland! Problem is, our youngest just relocated to L.A.
I bought tickets, scheduled tours and reserved meals for just the two of us. But my husband has included our son in everything now — all park visits, dinners, etc.
Don’t get me wrong — I love my kids, but this was supposed to be “our” time.
I agreed to one dinner with our son, but other than that, we are on our own. My husband wants to include him in everything because he lives close by.
Now my husband says he doesn’t want to go at all. He insists that our son partake in everything we do, but I want this trip to be about us. We deserve this! How do I convince him that we need this trip? — DISAPPOINTED IN OHIO
DEAR DISAPPOINTED: You shouldn’t have to convince your husband to follow through on your dream vacation. He should have consulted you before inviting your son and telling him he will be included in everything.
You wrote that you scrimped and saved for years to afford this vacation. How does he intend to pay for all those extra expenses for a third person?
If your husband doesn’t want an experience “just for the two of you,” allow me to suggest it may be time to schedule something just for yourself. You have earned it.
DEAR ABBY: I was engaged to my husband for three years before we got married. A little more than a year ago, he was told that he had two years to live.
Six months later, we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary, and 10 days after that, he passed away.
I have met a man who is two years younger than I am who makes me laugh again. I feel like a schoolgirl when I’m around him. He wants to be a roommate, live with me and sleep upstairs.
I sleep downstairs, but I don’t know if I should let him or not. Advice? — FEELING A BIT SCARED IN INDIANA
DEAR FEELING: Would this man be paying you rent and buying food, or would you be picking up the tab? If all he wants is to be your platonic roommate, but you are physically attracted to him, I recommend against proceeding with the arrangement.
You would find it increasingly painful and frustrating, and when you finally had had enough pain and frustration, you might have to hire an attorney to help you get him out.
What seems attractive now could be a huge pain in the posterior, and I guarantee it wouldn’t leave you laughing. Keep things as they are until the relationship becomes more defined.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
