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Attention, women – chivalry could be dead.
And it took one TikToker with sore legs on a train to prove it.
Katy Olivia shared a TikTok of herself standing in the middle of a packed Tube carriage in London, shopping bags in hand, surrounded by men who were firmly seated.
On camera, she groans: “Owww, my legs hurt so much … I wish I could sit down … owwww,” while the men around her smirk, glance up, then return to their phones.
The caption over the clip reads: “Men used to go to war for women; now they run for a seat on the train”.
Comments divided
The internet was quick to weigh in.
“Chivalry is dead,” one declared, while another joked, “Babes, don’t disturb them, they’re busy wondering why they’re lonely”.
“Look at all the princesses resting their weary legs,” a third laughed.
One man insisted, “giving up one’s seat is a gentlemanly gesture and just good manners, and manners maketh the man”.
“A gentleman is rare these days,” yet another commenter wrote, adding that the men who stand up “understand children and women come first”.
The feminism clap back
But not everyone was buying this take.
Plenty hit back with comments like, “Do you want equality or not?” and “Why would they give it up just because she’s a woman?”
“Remember, girls, you fought for this,” another put bluntly.
Then several pointed out that Olivia looked “physically healthy” and asked why a random guy should give up a coveted peak-hour seat for someone who appears perfectly capable of standing.
Some argued we’ve “pushed feminism and independence so much” that we’ve “changed the entire dynamic”, and now women are whining about the very equality they campaigned for.
What the data says
A 2023 transport study on ‘seat-yielding’ behavior found that commuters are far more likely to give up their seat when someone’s vulnerability is obvious – such as an older passenger, a pregnant woman or a person with a disability – and much less likely to do so when the rider appears young and healthy.
However, most see it as a gender-neutral courtesy based on need rather than on whether the other person is a man or a woman.
Why this video hits a nerve
Chivalry dates back to the 12th century and was primarily used by medieval Christian knights to guide their behavior, which was governed by values such as honor, kindness and courage.
Over time, the meaning of chivalry has evolved to emphasize broader social and moral virtues, such as holding doors open and giving up seats for women.
However, these traditions have been challenged by modern feminism, which argues that women aren’t fragile and don’t need special treatment because of their gender.
As comedian Dave Chappelle once famously said, “Chivalry is dead, and women killed it”.
Expert weighs in
So, is chivalry really dead? Etiquette expert Kate Heussler says not quite – it’s been misunderstood and, in some cases, poorly executed.
“Standing up for someone on public transport should never be about gender alone or a sense of obligation,” the model, educator and image coach tells news.com.au.
“Good etiquette is about awareness, respect and reading the room. If someone looks uncomfortable, unsteady, heavily pregnant, elderly, injured, or clearly struggling, offering your seat is a courteous gesture – regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman.”
Where things go awry, she says, is when old-fashioned chivalry strips away agency.
“Most women don’t want to be ‘rescued’ or singled out simply because of their gender,” Heussler explains. “What they appreciate is being treated with consideration and dignity, the same way anyone would want to be treated in a shared public space.”
Modern etiquette, she says, isn’t about “grand gestures” but rather “situational awareness”.
“It’s noticing who genuinely needs support, offering help without assumption and being gracious whether that offer is accepted or declined,” she says. “A quiet offer of a seat is polite, taking offense when it’s refused is not.
“In 2025, the most respectful approach is simple: be observant, be kind, and don’t make it about proving a point. Courtesy has evolved – and that’s not a bad thing.”
