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Over the last few months, a murder trial in Massachusetts has become a national obsession and a cultural Rorschach test. The story of Lindsay Clancy, a labor and delivery nurse who killed her three children and then attempted suicide, has created a vortex of online theorizing and suspicion, and generated furious arguments about the relationship between mental illness and criminal fault, the ways in which the medical system fails mothers and how men and women understand one another.
At its heart, though, it’s a story about a family and the worst tragedy imaginable. Tonight you’ll hear from the father, Patrick Clancy, for the first time since the trial – talking about how he tried to rebuild a life in the shadow of unbearable grief, and why he wants to put the focus back on the memory of his children, Cora, Dawson and Callan.
In the fall of 2022, when Callan was 5 months old, Patrick noticed that Lindsay was struggling.
Patrick Clancy: It was October and– she went a few nights without sleeping.
Ross Douthat: What did she tell you that she was experiencing then?
Patrick Clancy: She came downstairs one morning, and she said– “I didn’t sleep at all last night.” And so I said– you know, “That’s awful. And– I’ll– I’ll take the kids to school. You just focus on– getting caught up on sleep.”
Ross Douthat: Did you know anything about postpartum mental illness before this experience started?
Patrick Clancy: No. I could piece together what it was like to be really, really anxious or depressed, but I didn’t know how to manage a postpartum illness. I think mental illness has this ability to be tragically deceptive. So I’m– I’m sure there are things that I didn’t see.
Patrick and Lindsay Clancy were living in the seaside town of Duxbury, Massachusetts. They were married six years. Months after the birth of their third child, Lindsay made repeated emergency room visits. She admitted herself to a program for patients with postpartum depression and was discharged after a day of treatment. She was also prescribed an escalating number of prescription drugs. Patrick said he struggled to help his wife navigate the medical system.
Ross Douthat: What was the low point a few months in?
Patrick Clancy: I think December. December was– it was a big struggle for her– just a huge lack of sleep, deep, deep depression, intrusive thoughts, and– at the end of that month she went to the hospital.
It was New Year’s Eve when Lindsay checked herself into McLean Psychiatric Hospital. She was treated for depression, and days later she was released. The family celebrated Cora’s birthday on January 7th.
Ross Douthat: She told you she wanted to come home.
Patrick Clancy: She did.
Seventeen days later, the unthinkable. After taking Cora to a doctor’s appointment earlier in the day, Lindsay asked Patrick to run an errand and pick up dinner – and when he returned home, he said he found her lying in the backyard, her throat and wrists cut, paralyzed after jumping from an upstairs window. In the basement he said he found his children strangled. Cora and Dawson were dead. Callan somehow survived and was airlifted to Boston Children’s Hospital.
Patrick Clancy: So, I didn’t have all the details of Callan’s condition. I just knew that they got a heartbeat back. So I remember– (SIGH) that night, I– I– I really thought there was a chance that Callan would live. And I– I remember just thinking, “Just gimme one. Just gimme one kid, and I would raise him as best I could, and I would give him the best life I possibly could. I’d tell him about his brother and sister.” And I was holdin’ out hope for that. And then when I got to the hospital, I saw the doctor. I saw the look on her face, and– and I knew that it– it wasn’t gonna be– a good prognosis.
Callan’s heart kept beating for four days.
Patrick Clancy: I’m so grateful for those four days that I had with him. And I’m so grateful he hung on.
Ross Douthat: Did you talk to him in those four days?
Patrick Clancy: Yeah.
Ross Douthat: Can you tell me anything you said?
Patrick Clancy: I said, “I’m so sorry.” And I got to– I got to hold him. I got to lay down next to him. And he died in my arms.
During those hours with Callan, Clancy sat and wrote tributes to each of his three children, typing with one hand while he held his baby’s hand with the other. He said he was afraid if he didn’t write about them they would be forgotten.
Ross Douthat: But it wasn’t just about your kids. It also had something that I think a lot of people found at that moment incomprehensible, which was something about Lindsay, where you forgave her.
Patrick Clancy: I saw headlines that said, you know, “Killer Mom,” and “Baby Murderer,” “Monster.” And none of ’em were accurate I believe that it was her mental illness that caused that. So I shared those words. And I think when it comes to forgiveness, I also felt that if I didn’t get there, I would be eaten up inside forever.
Ross Douthat: Did you ask Lindsay why she did it?
Patrick Clancy: I asked her if she remembered it.
Ross Douthat: And what did she say?
Patrick Clancy: She said it was like a dream. And– she remembered it much in the way you would remember a dream after waking up.
Ross Douthat: Do you feel like you failed in some way in this period or do you feel like you did the best you could?
Patrick Clancy: I think I did the best I could with what I had at the time. And I live with the outcome. I live with it every day.
Ross Douthat: Has she ever asked for your forgiveness?
Patrick Clancy: No. But I gave it to her.
In the weeks after the tragedy, the crowds of mourners dispersed and Clancy’s world emptied out. There was no family routine, no bedtime stories, no purpose.
Patrick Clancy: Everything just came to a screeching halt. And then there was a day where I– really without thinking, I drove by their school. And it was at the exact time that all of their friends were getting dropped off. And I was just– I couldn’t be there anymore.
Ross Douthat: Did you ever have suicidal thoughts yourself?
Patrick Clancy: Yeah There was a time where I– I didn’t think I would live to see my 35th birthday. And I was completely fine with it.
In April, unable to stay in Duxbury, Clancy said he moved to New York City, seeking anonymity.
Patrick Clancy: Five weeks after I moved to New York, on May 26th, I had to figure out how I’m gonna celebrate Callan’s first birthday. And how do you celebrate your son’s first birthday months after he’s passed away? And so I go to St. Patrick’s Cathedral. I light a candle, and I say, “I love you, buddy.” And I walk out on Fifth Avenue and I start crying my eyes out. And nobody cared.
Ross Douthat: And was that good? Were you grateful for that?
Patrick Clancy: I thought, “This is where I need to be. I can grieve.”
Before moving, he had emptied the house in Duxbury, a home filled with the most visceral reminders of his children’s lives.
Ross Douthat: What kinda things did you keep?
Patrick Clancy: Some of their toys. A lotta personal items. Just things that reminded me of them.
Reminders, now purposefully placed around his Manhattan apartment. a baby sloth that Cora carried everywhere, a photo of Callan wearing a bowtie almost bigger than him, Dawson’s beloved and battered helicopter.
In their hometown of Duxbury, Clancy found another way to keep them close, this brand-new playground, built to feature touchstones for each child: sloths for his daughter; a firefighter for Dawson and down the way, a toddler’s playpen for Callan.
Ross Douthat: Do you dream about them?
Patrick Clancy: Yeah. All the time.
Ross Douthat: Tell me a good dream.
Patrick Clancy: I remember early on having a dream, maybe six months or a year after. And I’m in the kitchen at the house, and Cora walks in. And I just look at her and I– it was, like, I basically just said, “Where have you been?” And she comes up to me and gives me a big hug. Those dreams are so real. It’s– it’s– it’s like I’m lucid in those dreams.
In July of this year, Lindsay Clancy went to trial for the killing of her three children. Her lawyers argued that she was suffering from dangerous postpartum psychosis and couldn’t be held responsible for her actions.
Her trial ended with a hung jury. Meanwhile, Patrick was suddenly facing a trial by TikTok.
An online swarm of sleuths and influencers has been dissecting every detail of the case, developing theories that portray him as uncaring, unfaithful and even the murderer of his children.
Ross Douthat: How do you respond to people who have that idea about you?
Patrick Clancy: It’s deeply harmful to the legacy of my children. It is a huge distraction from what really matters here, which is perinatal mental health. And it’s done real harm to real people, myself included but also others.
Ross Douthat: How does it affect you directly, the stuff that’s out there online?
Patrick Clancy: It’s painful to see. And it makes it difficult to be in public and it’s possible that some of those people after seeing lie after lie after lie, they start to believe it and that’s what we’re left with.
One of the catalysts for these theories was Patrick’s apparent stoicism on the witness stand.
Patrick Clancy: Testifying is very difficult. On the second day, a lotta that was focused on the night of January 24th. We did take a break right before they played the 911 call, which I knew was gonna be just horrific. And I went to a back room, and I started having this massive traumatic panic attack. My heart was pounding. And they put me in an ambulance they offered me some medication, but I said, “I– I don’t want it, ’cause I want to go back and I want to finish this so I can be done with this.” And I went back and I finished the testimony.
Clancy says reaching out to survivors and experts in the field of postpartum health has helped him.
Patrick Clancy: I started reaching out to people at Postpartum Support International. I reached out to psychiatrists, experts in the field. And I asked them, “What do you think happened?” And we– we had some pretty deep conversations.
Those conversations helped Patrick come to terms with what happened and so too has Dr. Rachel Danis – a fertility doctor, who says they met in January of 2024 in a run club in New York. They got to know each other over coffee.
Rachel Danis: Pat pulled out his phone to pay, and I noticed this adorable photo of children as the wallpaper. And I just asked, “Who are those cuties?” And Pat said, “Those are my kids.” And then I think I asked if they live in Massachusetts, and Pat said, “They died.” And this is just at the cashier.
Ross Douthat: So what did you do then?
Rachel Danis: I guess I had so many questions, and yet at the same time I didn’t know exactly what to ask.
As they logged miles together their relationship deepened. They got married in New York City this April.
Ross Douthat: We talked a lot about what Pat carries, the grief that he carries along with the good memories. Do you think you help him carry that grief?
Rachel Danis: I hope.
Ross Douthat: Do you think she helps you carry that grief?
Patrick Clancy: Yeah. Yeah. I’m– 100%. It’s– my life has changed since I met Rachel in such a positive way.
Rachel Danis: I always– try to take some of the sh– weight from Pat. I always wanna strive to do that. I know I can’t fix– I can’t bring his kids back. But if I can honor them and allow Pat to grieve but also just continue to honor them in the present, it– I guess that’s all I can do.
Ross Douthat: And you guys are starting a family.
Rachel Danis: Yeah.
Ross Douthat: What are you gonna tell your child about their brothers and sister?
Patrick Clancy: I think every parent can agree, you have different relationships with your kids, but they’re all your kids. And I can’t wait to tell them about their brothers and sister.
Patrick and Lindsay have each brought lawsuits against health care providers who treated her, alleging medical malpractice. Lindsay Clancy is being held in Tewksbury Hospital in Massachusetts, waiting to learn whether she will be retried for the murder of her children.
Produced by Michael Karzis. Associate producers, Katie Kerbstat, Kit Ramgopal and Deanna Lowe. Edited by Peter M. Berman. Assistant editor, Aisha Crespo.
