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Today, many women are forgoing old-fashioned traditions like getting married or having kids for various reasons.
However, one Gen X woman opened up in a series of TikTok videos about her decision not to start a family and how it affects her today.
Nadiya Bekar, 53, is an award-winning beauty expert and the founder of Bekar Beauty, known for her skincare tips and tricks. In a slew of TikTok videos posted right before the holiday season officially kicked off, she vulnerably shared how she “forgot to have kids.”
“I knew I didn’t want children but by the time it got to the point where I should’ve had them with my then partner, it was too late for me,” she revealed.
Bekar mentioned how she loves children and is the mother to an adorable fur baby but this time of year often stirs up feelings of emptiness and loneliness for her.
Although Bekar didn’t create a Hallmark movie-type of family dynamic, she knows it’s unfair to blame herself, especially because she had a string of bad exes in her adulthood.
But that doesn’t take away from how this time of year makes her feel. “It gets lonely between Christmas and New Year’s,” she remarked, especially when everything is centered around family and children.
In a follow-up video, Bekar mentioned how not having children never really bothered her until she got into her fifties.
“Am I going to be left alone and eaten by cats and no one knows I’m gone? Have I made the right life choice?” are the type of questions that now swirl around in her head.
In a third video, Bekar explained how she eventually got married in her 30s, which she feels was a bit late, to a partner who wanted children, but she couldn’t get pregnant.
She elaborated that when she said she “forgot to have children,” what she meant by that is that she was “busy creating a life, that [becoming a mother] wasn’t a priority of mine…but actually I wanted the family, I wanted that kind of warmth and love and that support network around me, but it just never happened for me.”
Bekar reassured her followers that she lives a very “fulfilled and happy life but the times of year I feel the absence of a warm family unit is around Christmas, Easter and sometimes New Year’s.”
Her words clearly struck a chord with many, as the comment section below each video was filled with women sharing their thoughts on the topic.
“You can feel lonely with kids, even at Christmas.”
“Christmas with kids is full of unmet expectations and high consumerism.”
It’s just a seasonal mood, it’s all overrated! I’m a single mum 1 daughter but she’ll have her own life too so I’ll be alone anyway.”
“I’m 55 never regretted not having kids.”
