PETA suggests replacing Punxsutawney Phil with hologram for Groundhog Day: ‘Let Phil and his family retire’

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) sent Punxsutawney Groundhog Club president Tom Dunkel a letter Tuesday offering a “state-of-the-art” 3-D groundhog projection for Gobbler’s Knob if he agrees to “finally let Phil and his family retire” to a reputable sanctuary. 

The massive projection would also offer local weather predictions, according to PETA.

“Pixelated popstars are headlining concerts and long-departed celebrities are attending conventions, so why not put that technology to good use: on a hologram that lets the real Phil hibernate in peace,” PETA founder Ingrid Newkirk wrote in a statement. “PETA is urging the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club to chuck its tired tradition of harassing a shy animal and give Gobbler’s Knob a glow-up with a phantom prognosticator.”

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PETA noted that, when given the chance, naturally shy groundhogs avoid humans and enjoy burrowing, exploring and hibernating.

They said these simple pleasures are made “impossible” for Phil to appreciate, given the small enclosure he is kept in year-round.

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“This update would be sure to captivate crowds, and let’s face it: Phil looks better standing tall and composed in light beams than squirming in a handler’s hands in captivity,” Newkirk wrote in the letter. “They dislike human smells, fear loud noises, abhor gatherings and prefer to stay in their burrows. Yet every year, this terrified little animal is subjected to loud announcers and noisy crowds and held up and waved around without any regard for his feelings, welfare, or instincts.”

She went on to call the annual event “archaic,” claiming it “exploits a wild animal.”

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“It’s unimaginative and ignores the obvious: Phil feels fear and discomfort just as humans do, and he’s not a willing participant in this annual spectacle,” Newkirk wrote. “And with the hologram, the town could still make a buck out of Chuck.”

PETA, whose motto reads, in part, “animals are not ours to use for entertainment,” is offering free “Empathy Kits” for those who “need a lesson in kindness,” according to organizers.