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DEAR ABBY: I dated a man for 16 months. We spent a lot of time together. We traveled, enjoyed many sports events and shared some mutual friends who actually introduced us.
One evening, we were out for dinner with another couple of his friends. During the conversation, the woman asked him if I was going to his daughter’s wedding. His response shocked me. He shook his head, saying, “I don’t think so.” I remained calm, but I felt hurt. It wasn’t because I “had” to go to the wedding, but because he didn’t even discuss it with me.
I was embarrassed, so I excused myself from the table. When I returned, I asked for my jacket. His response was, “This isn’t going to end well.” I asked him if that was a threat, to which he did not respond. I called a ride share and left.
The next day, he delivered all my belongings from his apartment. Over — just like that! No explanation. He did scream at me while dropping off my things, about why I thought I should be invited when I had never met his daughter. I couldn’t speak at the time because I was dumbfounded. A few days later, we had a text exchange. I asked him about a golfing buddy of his being invited. He said yes. I said, “He never met your daughter.” Phone silence.
He later invited me to go to lunch but said, “No crying.” I declined and said, “I don’t want to eat, and I don’t want to be friends with someone who treats me so horribly.” A week or two later, I got an email saying, “This is my last communication ever.” I don’t think he had to announce it, but OK. It’s been a year now, but it still bothers me. Am I wrong? — MAKING NO SENSE IN MINNESOTA
DEAR MAKING NO SENSE: The man you were dating had his reasons for not inviting the woman he had been seeing for 16 months. If I had been sitting in your position, rather than pouting and retreating, I would have asked him why he hadn’t mentioned such an important milestone and let him explain it in front of his friends. That said, the romance is over. Let it go. To say that he was controlling and insensitive would be an understatement. In my opinion, you dodged a nasty bullet.
DEAR ABBY: I belong to a group of 10 women who meet once a month. We’re all seniors, and most, but not all, of the women have husbands. I’d like to set up a dinner for couples so we can meet each other’s husbands. Should I invite only those with spouses? Invite everyone, but ask that the singles bring a date? Just let the singles come solo? — HESITANT HOSTESS
DEAR HOSTESS: Why would you need to exclude the single women as you meet one another’s husbands? I suspect they, too, are curious about their friends’ spouses. Make sure the singles know they are welcome to bring a date if they want to, but they, not you, should decide whether mingling with a roomful of couples will make them uncomfortable.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. For nearly four decades, Jeanne Phillips penned this column, which was founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 270135, Kansas City, MO 64127.
