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Sorry, but you’re a parent now and it doesn’t matter if it’s your favorite resort in the world — the one you had your honeymoon in all those years ago — because if the kids don’t love it, it’s a no-go.
It’s a lesson every family learns, but there’s a silver lining: It’s never been easier, or happier, to travel with children.
That’s because, news flash, those little rooms with a TV and a few board games they had the gall to call “kids clubs” back in the day — the ones your parents dumped you in while they sucked down mai tais by the adults-only pool — are long gone. You may still be in therapy, but your kids won’t be.
These days what passes for a kids club would be considered a main attraction by elder millennial eyes. They’re not rooms, they’re complexes, parks, entire resorts within resorts. Nannies with correctional officer vibes have been replaced with real-life scientists, credentialed educators, caregivers and wilderness rangers.
“Most families don’t want their kids in a room watching videos,” said Nadia Bess, owner of Besst Travels. “They want their kids to do full programming. They want it to be outside and learning based. They want their kid to be learning about turtles if they’re in an ocean destination, or learning about the culture of the destination.”
Still, not all clubs are created equal, nor are they suited for every age.
“You don’t want your 5-year-old doing the same programming as a 13-year-old,” noted Bess. “You need different programming for different age ranges.”
That’s a challenge for both resorts and parents. To find a solution, The Post queried a host of travel advisers from across the country to locate five of the best kids clubs and programs for a variety of ages from around the world. Check them out before you check in.
Located on lush land on the southern coast of Sardinia, Forte Village is a complex of eight resorts, hotels and bungalows spread over 123 acres of amenities. For children and teens there is nothing like it.
Aptly dubbed the Children’s Wonderland, Forte’s dedicated play area has two children’s pools, a nursery and kids theater — all of which can be accessed via a toy-train shuttle service.
OK, cool. What else? Well, there’s Mario’s Village (named after the resort’s parrot mascot), a full-size miniature town where children 3 and older can get busy, and a life-size Barbie House, too, with Barbie-themed experiences like hairstyling, pastry-making, nail art, fashion and makeup.
“It’s the ultimate countryside playground for both adults and kids, with shooting, fishing, horseback riding, gundog training, ferret training (kids love this one), tennis, off-roading, Highland exploration,” said Bess. “Kids cry when they leave this hotel; it’s really that special.”
Your older kids will want to head to Leisureland, which has a full-size go-kart track and bowling alley, or Acquapark, an all-ages splash zone with water slides and a wave pool. The resort also has over 21 sports and leisure academies for kids to try, ranging from a Real Madrid Foundation football clinic to fencing, tennis, basketball, rugby, a DJ academy and a magic academy.
Best of all might be the dedicated children’s restaurant with a fun menu of chef-made food designed to delight picky eaters. There’s even a selection of homogenized food for babies.
“The resort has essentially created a destination within the property specifically for children,” said Lucia Ruggieri-Maynard, a travel adviser and founder of Wander With Lucia. “It’s particularly well-suited for families traveling with children of different ages because there is programming from infancy through the teen years.”
Located beneath the Ochil Hills in Perthshire, Gleneagles is perhaps Scotland’s most famous country estate resort. It’s best known for whisky-fueled adult fun, but it’s quietly become a hot spot for striplings, too.
For children ages 3 to 7, a Little Glen Adventure Guide helps them explore the estate; bigger kids get the Den Adventurer Guide, complete with a backpack, water bottle and snack box. Both fully supervised programs allow parents to hit the spa or golf courses, or have leisurely lunches, while their city kids spend the day outdoors learning new skills.
Should weather be inclement (this is Scotland, after all), there’s the Den, a hangout space with air hockey, a cinema, giant board games and gaming stations. (You can always drop off your future juvenile delinquent, 30- months-plus, at the crèche, as well.)
Perhaps the ultimate all-rounder resort, Kokomo is designed for families with newborns, rambunctious toddlers, big kids and even adventurous teens.
“I think Kokomo is amazing because, until your kid is of age for the club, they include a complimentary nanny, so you can still enjoy time with your partner,” said Bess, noting that there are adults-only areas. “That saves you so much money, because you don’t have to travel with a nanny or pay for babysitting services.”
Little ones need to be at least 4 to join the Kaji Club, a completely separate, carefully designed kids zone — packed with wooden toys, a doll’s house, train sets, books, puzzles, dress-up clothes, musical instruments and crafts — run by childcare specialists. It also offers full daily programs to get kids outdoors. Your little nippers will feed fish, practice snorkeling, play beach games, go on nature walks and treasure hunts and learn about Fiji’s culture.
Meanwhile, teens get to unwind with independence at their own dedicated club with a pool table, arcade games, table tennis, air hockey . . . you get the idea. Don’t worry, they’re getting dragged outdoors, too, for sports like pickleball, tennis and basketball, as well as island-specific excursions like ridge hikes.
Located in the heart of British Columbia’s Great Bear Rainforest with no road access, guests arrive via boat or floatplane. That should give you some sense of just how special their unique “Kids in the Wild” program will be.
Take the name literally, because this single-day adventure will turn your child into a wilderness ranger. It can be done as a family or sans parental authority, but it usually starts aboard a boat for an outing with activities tailored to their ages and interests.
No day is alike and it can include anything from fishing, fire-building and hiking to learning wilderness survival. For older kids, the resort has created everything from custom scavenger hunts to “Amazing Race”-style competitions and multi-day challenges. Craftier kids build fairy doors, take cookie-making classes or even make “kidtail” drinks with the food and beverage team. No matter what they do, their day will end with a special dinner and s’mores around the fire.
“Unlike most wilderness lodges in Canada, Nimmo Bay doesn’t have age restrictions,” noted Bess. “It’s the perfect place to see bears in their natural habitat, as well as whales and dolphins. You can even spot bears from their floating dock, complete with tub.”
Every Ritz is a smart stop for your family. After all, its Ritz Kids program is an industry icon.
But travel agents say something special is going on at the brand’s Grand Cayman property.
“I may be a little partial because my family is from the Cayman Islands, but I genuinely could not believe how awesome the kids programming was,” said Whytney Rawls, founder of the Amara Escapes. “It really embraced the Cayman Islands and its incredible ecosystem, with activities like mangrove kayaking, Snorkeling 101, stingray and shark education and archaeology.”
The resort’s flagship family feature is Jean-Michel Cousteau’s Ambassadors of the Environment program, a full-day itinerary that uses Grand Cayman as a “living classroom” to introduce children and families to the island’s ecosystems and cultural heritage.
The resort is also home to Starfish Cay, a custom water park, with a splash pool, slides, spray jets, a tipping bucket and a Wave Game Room. Elsewhere there’s a children’s pool, basketball, tennis and pickleball courts, snorkeling, kayaking and sailing. The Ritz-Carlton Golf Club also has a free golfing clinic for future Scottie Schefflers.
“There are tons of family-friendly activities throughout the resort, from sports and games to movie nights,” said Rawls. “I knew Grand Cayman was incredible for families, but after seeing the kids programming firsthand, I was seriously impressed.”
