Weather 
When the ship hits the fan, vacationers might be dead in the water — quite literally.
No sleep, lifeless bodies and horny cheaters hunting for green cards. That’s life at sea — or so warns cruise ship crew member, Raye, and her colleague, virally unveiling the unpleasant underbelly of luxury liners.
“Things about working on a cruise ship that would send normal people into a coma,” said the twosome in unison before detailing the dark sides of working on vacation vessels in a vid.
“You get kind of used to hearing that there’s a dead person onboard,” Raye grimly admitted of her gig, noting that she rarely gets any sleep after setting sail and thrives on “7-minute naps.”
“Lots of dead bodies,” chimed her coworker with a chuckle. “There’s a morgue on the ship.”
The gal’s giggle notwithstanding, death on the high seas is no laughing matter. Tragically, however, it is quite common.
Three passengers aboard the Dutch cruise liner, MV Hondius, died amid a suspected hantavirus outbreak in May. An 88-year-old vacationer, too, lost her life on a Carnival Celebration ship last month, plunging into the water after losing control of her mobility scooter in the Bahamas.
Dara Tucker, a former cruise singer who lived on boats touring the Mediterranean and the Caribbean, previously revealed the grisly truth behind the “ice cream parties” ship staffers sporadically treat passengers to, alleging, “it’s often because more people have died on the ship than they have room for in the morgue.”
“If more than seven people died on that particular ship, they would have to start moving bodies to the freezer,” Tucker explained to over 3 million virtual viewers, “which meant they needed to make room in the freezer.”
When cruisers aren’t busy kicking the bucket — or stashing the bodies — they’re busy trying to get busy with their fellow trippers, Raye claims.
“Everybody is hotter on a cruise ship,” said her pal in their trending clip. “Like 10-times hotter. Everyone has ship-goggles. The most mediocre people [become] the most beautiful people you’ve [ever] seen.”
“If you do end up [hooking up] with somebody on a cruise ship, there’s a 50% chance they probably have a spouse and kids at home,” she warned.
“Go onto a cruise ship single,” Raye advised following her friend’s “hotness” forewarning.
The unapologetic pair also offered up a kindly heads up to all American travelers, cautioning that the big boats are often chock full of flirty foreigners feigning romantic interests in US residents in hopes of scoring a green card.
Karolina Plec, an author and ex-cruise employee, confirmed the wildness of the ride to DailyMail, recalling forbidden sexual trysts between crew workers, as well as boat ship personnel and guests.
“I remember a bartender sneaking a female passenger down to his cabin disguised in a life jacket,” said Plec, noting the strict “no fraternizing with guests” rule for ship hirelings.
“Another, very attractive, female guest was once caught attempting to leave a male crew member’s quarters in the early hours wearing a baseball cap and oversized hoodie,” she spilled.
Plec, however, happily bent the rules when it came to canoodling with a workmate. The blond, who began her career as a cruise casino dealer in London during her 20s, met and married a fellow liner laborer, with whom she’d been joined in holy matrimony for two decades.
“Every ship had at least one crew member who’d juggle romances with a spa therapist, stewardess and casino girl around their shift patterns,” she said. “It always ended with a spectacular meltdown in the crew corridors when the women discovered each other’s existence.”
“Thankfully, my own ‘boatmance’ was rather less dramatic.”
The waves of drama and trauma aside, Plec says she wouldn’t trade her past life on the water for anything in the world.
“While my cruise ship days were turbulent in every sense, it was a gamble that paid off,” the writer rhapsodized. “I found my husband and the path to financial security, too – not to mention a lifetime of juicy dinner party anecdotes.”
