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Pursuing missed connections is nothing new — there are just more places to look.
The concept’s increased expansion from Craigslist to social media — primarily Instagram, TikTok, Facebook and Reddit — is the latest push for partnership from daters who are stepping away from swipe culture in favor of analog (or analog-adjacent) methods to meet their love match.
And singles need all the help they can get in the Big Apple, where exchanging eye contact with a stranger on a train feels like a precursor to first base.
Inspired by newspaper singles ads in the 1970s, Craigslist kicked off its Missed Connections forum in 2000 on the site’s now-defunct personals section. It boomed up until 2018 when it was derailed by the broader implications of Congress’ FOSTA bill, which made online platforms like Craiglist reponsible for sex-work interactions, rather than the individual listers themselves.
In response, Craigslist moved posts to the Community section, where users can also list local events, activities and lost-and-found items. Now, eight years later, missed connections on the Y2K-esque webpage are still posted by the hour — with cliffhanger headings such as “I felt something, did you?” tucked under the NY corner of the site.
But the concept has also migrated to more modern online spaces.
Instagram, for instance, currently has 51,400 posts with the hashtag #missedconnections, the majority featuring users asking for help locating the transient objects of their affection.
At least 40 accounts on the platform include the phrase “missed connections” in their name — like @missedconnections_PDX, an account with 57,600 followers that covers Portland, Oregon — and are solely or primarily dedicated to linking up lost potential lovers.
“You: beanie, mustache, carhartt vibe jacket and was skateboarding,” reads one April 21 post on @missedconnectionsnyc, a similar account our own covering Gotham. “Me: brunette, ponytail wearing all black on a citi bike. April 20th, 5:30ish p.m.: I was biking and almost crashed into a guy. It was off Broadway on 12th street. I wish I had stopped and said sorry and told you that you were cute.”
With a meager four “likes” on the post — with the majority of similar shares not performing much better — the likelihood of the skateboarder and Citibike rider meeting again and zooming off into the proverbial sunset is objectively small.
But to Lauren Tetenbaum, LCSW, a psychotherapist specializing in supporting women through life transitions like new relationships, the enterprise is still worthwhile.
“It can be hard to put yourself out there, especially for a small chance of success, but the alternative of doing nothing guarantees that you’ll miss the connection,” Tetenbaum told The Post. “You have nothing to lose! At the very least, it’s practice for stepping out of your comfort zone, and can be a fun way to meet your person or expand your social network.”
The Reddit r/NYCmissedconnections, which has 769 weekly visitors, features similar calls into the void for passing paramours.
One recent Big Apple-based post boasts the heading “Missed Connection – 5/2 SNL Live Show Taping ft. Olivia Rodrigo” — where one poster recounts his lapsed link with a woman he met at the show.
“You were the funny and interesting blond from Florida,” he said. “I was the tall, not so dark, kind of handsome (source: my mom) Colombian with glasses and swooshy/wavy hair (Sponsored by Aqua Net).”
The hopeful romantic goes on to recount how the pair spent most of the pre-show and commercial breaks “teasing each other, laughing, shimmying with excitement about being at the show, talking about our parents (and their lack of interest in traveling), and just having a really fun time.”
The woman had apparently made an in-person comment about the poster visiting her in Florida, to which he’d responded, “When?”
Alas, the potential couple lost sight of one another as the 30 Rock staff ushered the audience out of the theater quickly after the taping ended, never to see each other again — at least, not yet.
“Epic fail on my part, but maybe you’ll see this post?” the poster penned. “Regardless, thank you for those lovely moments of laughter, and I hope you had a safe and smooth return trip home to Florida.”
