Weather 
Hellman’s is finally answering the question on everyone’s minds: Is mayonnaise an instrument?
The question was infamously first posed about 25 years ago by the lovable starfish Patrick on “SpongeBob Squarepants,” and now there’s finally an answer.
The beloved mayo brand worked with Dr. Rachael Durkin, Head of Global Music Technologies at Northumbria University, and her team of experts to see if scientifically, mayonnaise could be considered an instrument.
What has been a widespread internet meme finally has a proper verdict based on an academic study. Yes, mayonnaise can function as an instrument.
“Music has always evolved through experimentation. When you look at the core principles of how instruments create sound, you realize the possibilities for unconventional materials are endless,” Durkin said in a statement.
“Exploring something like mayonnaise isn’t just about fun; it challenges our assumptions and invites us to think far more creatively about what music can be.”
In the interim report provided to The Post — with a full report from Northumbria University to be published shortly — the researchers explained that organology, the scholarly study of musical instruments, recognizes that instrument status isn’t restrained to purpose-built objects.
What actually matters when determining whether something is a musical instrument is whether than object can produce or modify sound in a controlled and intentional way.
“Mayonnaise can,” the experts wrote. “Tested against the criteria that organologists use to evaluate any object, it qualifies.”
The Hornbostel-Sachs system, the global standard for classifying musical instruments, catalogs instruments by what vibrates to produce sound.
Mayonnaise in a jar, mayonnaise in a squeeze bottle and mayonnaise without a vessel all behave differently and map onto a different part of the classification system. It can be classified in more ways than many conventional instruments, highlighting the condiment’s musical versatility.
Food science and acoustic research has revealed that mayonnaise has measurable and reproducible acoustic properties because of its physical composition.
“The sounds it produces are not arbitrary — they are determined by its structure as an emulsion,” the study noted.
They also found that playing with mayonnaise for its sound alters it at a physical level. The two-way relationship between object and sound is a “hallmark of musical instruments” and raises the possibility that mayo could serve as a material in instrument construction.
Researchers noted that the line between what is an ordinary object and a musical instrument is crossed through use, intention and context.
So when mayonnaise is purposefully used to produce or shape sound in a musical setting — whether that be struck, squeezed, scraped or poured — “it ceases to be just a condiment and becomes an instrument.”
The simple act of playing it as an instrument is ultimately what makes it one.
Hellman’s partnered with music content creator Andy Arthur Smith to bring the new findings to life and create an original track composed entirely from mayonnaise-generated sounds. The track, titled “Mayonnaise Is an Instrument,” is now available to stream.
“Seeing people actually make music with mayonnaise and turning it into a real track has been wild. It shouldn’t work, but somehow it does,” Smith shared. “We’re bringing a new texture to music!”
It turns out that mayo isn’t the first unlikely object to be considered an instrument. In fact, music history is full of every day items that became instruments through creative use.
For example, Erik Satie’s typewriter, John Cage’s prepared piano, György Ligeti’s metronomes, the pestle-and-mortar percussion traditions of Indonesia, and The Vegetable Orchestra from Austria.
“Each was once considered an unlikely candidate. Each is now part of the musical record. Mayonnaise belongs in this tradition,” the report declared.
Broadening the scope, food has been a recognized material used in art for decades. Ed Ruscha used ketchup, caviar and baked beans as inks and paints in the 1970s, while Dieter Roth built an entire body of sculptural work from chocolate and cheese.
