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Meet the worst Times Square interloper since the Elmos invasion — the “limited edition” anchovy-cheese donut at weirdly punctuated I’m donut ?
The Japanese bakery chain, which set up its first US store at 154 W. 45th St. last spring, will stop at nothing to get attention from TikTok influencers.
This month, the “chef’s inspiration” is to lay a single anchovy across the top of a donut filled with three (count ’em, three) types of cheese — white cheddar, Gruyère, Parmigiano-Reggiano — and creamy Béchamel sauce. It makes for a dairy debacle. The mutant munchie tastes like a salt slick atop a starch-and-sugar pillow.
Another supposed masterpiece is a scrambled egg tucked into a donut which, like others, lacks the center hole that’s key to the donut-noshing experience.
Is it too obvious to say it lays an egg? The yellow ooze from within drew “ewws” around the office, a reaction I shared. Japanese mayo and honey reduced the egg to a puddle with a disquieting taste.
The Japanese chain founded by chef Ryouta Hirako in 2022 claims to “redefine the very essence of what a donut can be,” but it merely proves how much money gullible scene-chasers are willing to waste — up to $9 for a single donut.
It’s enjoyed months of viral popularity and a fawning review in the New Yorker. There are still lines on the sidewalks some mornings though the frenzy seems to be cooling a bit.
I’m donut ? is a stark, white-on-white affair with all the jolly air of an MRI clinic. Its claim to culinary relevancy is that its “nama” (meaning “fresh” or “raw) products are made with brioche dough from “premium ingredients.” They do have a lighter, fluffier texture than the traditional American article. They also thankfully have less of the cloying sweetness common elsewhere.
But the improvements hardly justify the higher cost or the cacophony of elements that don’t belong together.
Like Italian bombolini, the “signature” choices lack the center holes we expect in a donut. Two of them, the “original” without any add-ons and a green matcha version, made little impression on my palate.
The haystack-shaped peanut butter and jelly variation would be fine at $4 but not at $8. “Choco shell” with cacao ribs had less chocolate flavor than the closest equivalent at Dunkin’, where it costs half as much.
A glazed strawberry-chocolate number, which at least has a hole, was nearly indistinguishable from Dunkin’s in a blind tasting.
Those searching for good, global food in Times Square can choose from stores such as the Wonderful World of Portuguese Sardines and sit-down restaurants like Nigerian-themed Lagos.
But I’m donut ? belongs to the Elmo class of tourist traps.
