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New year — same old you?
From unrealistic weight-loss goals to quests for the ideal soulmate, New Yorkers are charging into 2026 with all kinds of resolutions and big plans, promising ourselves that this will be our year.
Bad news: it probably won’t be.
Most of us will give up efforts to change within weeks, and what’s worse, deep down, we already know that; a study from last year revealed that a shocking 79% of Gothamites gunning for a glow-up didn’t think they’d see their plans through.
Stop torturing yourselves, says Dr. Rachel Goldman, a Big Apple psychologist and author of “When Life Happens,” who told The Post that the beginning of a new year is a time for reflection, not a doomed-from-the-start hard reset.
“I’m ‘anti’ New Year’s resolutions,” said Goldman. “I think it’s more realistic and helpful to set goals that people can actually accomplish. In order to do that, we need to take some time to really reflect about where we are right now.”
Citing a statistic that a dismal 9% of Americans actually follow through on their resolutions by the end of the year, Goldman shared that looking back on the lessons one has learned over the past year is not just a “cute exercise” — it can be a valuable tool to “grow and evolve” and set one up for success in the year ahead.
“I think a lot of people compare themselves to others, or they compare themselves to years ago,” said Goldman. “They’ll be, like, ‘Well, I used to go to the gym five days a week, so I should be able to do that again now.’ But maybe that’s not realistic for the (current) phase of life they’re in.”
Instead of beating yourself up for not meeting lofty expectations that were unattainable in the first place, Goldman emphasized the importance of breaking down goals for the new year into specific, measurable steps — while never forgetting how far one has already come.
“Unrealistic goals fuel self-criticism. But focusing on what’s in your control by breaking your goals into small, realistic, measurable steps — combined with recognizing past progress — creates real change.”
So, forget woo-woo diets that won’t work and that vague half-wish to stumble upon the love of your life. These 11 Post readers offered up plenty of concrete reflections on 2025 that they — and you — can use to achieve a happy and healthy 2026.
On relationships
“Basically, there were people that had betrayed me multiple times over the years, but I kept giving them chances — only to be hurt again. So, I am finally removing (these kinds of) people from my life. Instead, I’m investing my time and energy in my friends, making it a point to surround myself with good people in the future.”
— Jessica Ourisman, 38, Los Angeles
“Getting your spark back takes time! So be patient with yourself and find peace in the discomfort. I learned this after the relationship I wanted to work out blew up in my face on Jan. 1 of this past year. In 2026, I’ll be focusing on myself and putting my needs first — and de-centering men from now on.”
— Curtis, 24, Brooklyn
“Biggest lesson of 2025: Relationships are so important for well-being and sense of belonging. Repairing broken relationships is so healing, but so is letting go of toxic ones. In 2026, I’m going to run headfirst to people who make me happy and do my best to be the villager I would want in my village.”
— Sally Ann, New York
“In 2025, I learned that some dreams cost you more than you ever expected … and are still worth everything. Infertility was one of the hardest roads I’ve ever walked. But now, holding my baby girl in my arms, I would do every hard part again to be right here. So if you’ve dreamed of becoming a mother your entire life — keep going. Ask the hard questions. Take the brave steps. Do whatever it takes to make that dream possible. Because when you’re finally holding your child, the road that once felt unbearable will feel like the path that brought you home.”
— Melissa O’Brien, 42, Madison, Wisconsin
On professional life
“In 2025, I learned the hard way that I don’t need to please everyone or wait for validation to move forward. In 2026, I’m taking this lesson into action by staying consistent, trusting my timing, focusing on what aligns with me, and building steadily without needing anyone else to approve. And I will continue with my podcast and share my thoughts — even with my heavy accent!”
— Dina Barber, 42, Brooklyn
“After a year of fruitless job applications post-graduation, I learned that sometimes you need to just crash the party — literally. My friend and I saw a LinkedIn post for a huge NYC agency happy hour, showed up, and when asked at check-in who we were with, we said we were unemployed and somehow got in. The drunk attendees thought it was hilarious, and I connected with high-profile people who never would’ve seen my resume otherwise. That boldness landed me at Purpose Public Relations. So in 2026 I’m leaning into doing things the ‘wrong’ way, because the right way wasn’t working anyway.”
— Matt Keenan, 24, New Jersey
“The biggest lesson I’ve learned in 2025 is that you can be extremely good at your job, and still be in the wrong room. The fix isn’t working harder — it’s changing rooms. Also, if you’re constantly tailoring yourself, you’re probably on the wrong runway. After all, couture doesn’t belong in clearance racks.”
— Nazima, 30, New York
On personal growth
“The through-line of my 2025 was a reminder that even when you do the right thing, it may not play out in your favor. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t right. Listening to your gut, even when it’s the hardest thing you can do (it never feels happy and joyful at first) will NEVER lead you astray.”
— Kris H., 35, South Dakota
“At the end of this year, I was impacted in a powerful way by HBO Max’s new hit show, ‘Heated Rivalry,’ which features two of the world’s best hockey players who fall in love over an eight-year span. Seeing two men fall in love reminded me that representation matters! It’s a good reminder about how important it is that everyone gets to see themselves represented in different aspects of media.”
— Chris Trondsen, 43, Orange County, California
“Choosing people that only choose me back! I went on a lot of first dates via the apps, always looking for someone to pour into me, ultimately losing myself in the process. Once I surrendered and let the universe handle it, I met my now-boyfriend — who adores me — on a plane!”
— Nikki Marie, New York
“I started understanding accountability when I realized how much of the bad times in my life were caused by decisions I made. Friends I chose, guys I liked, family I had strained relationships with. My life took a crazy turn when I started owning up to my actions and actually believing that I controlled my life. I like being in control — and to be honest, being accountable is the ultimate control because I realized that if I ‘blame’ myself for everything, I also have the power to change it.”
— Sarah, 28, Tampa, Florida
