Ahead of their 50-year wedding anniversary, Dr. Phil and Robin McGraw are reflecting on their secrets to a successful marriage, their relationship with faith and more in a rare interview.
“We’ve truly treasured every year of our life together — every 10 years of our life together, every momentous occasion, birthdays, holidays,” Robin, 72, exclusively tells Us in a joint interview with her husband. “But this anniversary is a huge accomplishment to us and we’re just really very proud.”
Dr. Phil, 75, and Robin went on to discuss the lessons they’ve learned for sustaining a long-lasting union.
“Just ask yourself, what can you do today to make their life a little better? It doesn’t have to be a big thing, but those little things add up,” he shares. “Small behaviors accumulate to big results across time — and it means you’re not thinking about yourself. You’re thinking about your partner.”
Dr. Phil continues: “A lot of people would be well served if they got out of themselves and focused on their partner more.”
In addition to celebrating their marriage milestone, Dr. Phil and Robin are also still focused on their careers — and their philanthropic work.
“We also certainly intend to rack up some more years as being husband and wife and parents and grandparents,” Dr. Phil tells Us, while Robin adds, “Our No. 1 priority is being parents to our children and being grandparents to our grandchildren. I think a celebratory future is what we’re looking forward to.”
Keep scrolling for Dr. Phil and Robin’s candid conversation with Us about their early days as a couple, their lives now out of the spotlight and what they are looking forward to next:
How do the two of you feel as you prepare to celebrate 50 years of marriage?
Robin: I get so emotional. I hope I don’t cry through this entire process because it’s been it’s very, very beautiful time for us right now. I’ve talked about it almost for the last year because I do believe it’s a huge milestone and we’re really very proud of ourselves.
Dr. Phil: It’s overwhelming when you talk about it because I don’t feel like I’m old enough to be married 50 years. I don’t feel any different than I felt when I was 50. So how could I be married 50 years? It’s really flown by.
Take Us back to when you started dating. How did you meet?
Robin: Oh, good. I love this question.
Dr. Phil: I really wish you hadn’t asked that question.
Robin: We met because he has a sister that I went to high school with. We’re the same age, [but] we weren’t best friends. We knew each other, we really liked each other and we [crossed paths] after we graduated.
She told me she was now dating a man that is a pilot from the Air Force base in our town. She said, “He has a roommate, so why don’t I hook you up with him and we have a double date?” I go to her house to go get ready, but this pilot they’ve hooked me up with gets weathered in somewhere, so I don’t have the date.
She said, “Well, Doug and I — and she did go on to marry him, so he is now our brother-in-law — will have a quick dinner and I’ll come home. You just chill.” The last thing she said was, “Oh, but by the way, you have to be really quiet. My brother is in town and he’s been really sick.” I said, “I didn’t even know you had a brother.”
I go to the kitchen to get a bottle of water and there sits this brother in the family room. The TV is on and I walk through, and he goes, “Who are you?” So we didn’t really start off on a real friendly note, but he said, “Would you like to sit down and watch this movie with me?” I said yes and we’ve been together ever since.
Dr. Phil: I didn’t say it quite that harshly.
Robin: He was very grumpy. I actually asked him, “Are you always this grumpy and rude?”
Dr. Phil: Well, we went out the next night.
Robin: He asked me out the next night. It was our first date and we’ve been together ever since.
Did you know right away that the other person was The One?
Robin: As much grief as I’m giving him about that first night we met, it was love at first sight for me. I knew right then I was going to marry this man. I knew that first night because underneath that big bear was a teddy bear. He was rough and gruff and not very friendly, but I knew he was just a teddy bear. He was really sweet.
Dr. Phil: I was sick. What can I tell you? I had a man cold.
But I have to say that when she first came through, I thought, “Am I delirious? This doesn’t happen.” I’m just sitting here in the den and she comes walking through. I thought there’s got to be something destined here, so I did ask her out. The next night we just went walking around …
Robin: Here it comes. We’ll never agree on this part.
Dr. Phil: We walked right past the church, and just as we’re at the sidewalk that leads straight into the double door, she said, “How do you feel about marriage?” And I looked at those doors to the church and I looked at her and I thought, “You mean right now? Did you lead me here to this sidewalk to the church?” I thought, “Holy God!”
Robin: It did not happen on that first date. It happened on the third date.
Dr. Phil: Bulls***. It was the first date.
Robin: It was the third date and I was serious. I knew I was going to marry him. I needed to know how he felt about marriage because I didn’t want to waste my time or I needed to know how much work I had in front of me because I was going to marry this man.
You got engaged on Valentine’s Day and married six months later. Were you just excited to finally be husband and wife?
Dr. Phil: Apparently, we made the right decision because it’s been 50 years and we’re still together, have two grown sons and four grandchildren.
Robin: Being a grandparent has caused us to be what I call in the dessert phase of our life. It’s truly the most beautiful phase of our life. It’s like having dessert every day.
What do you remember about your wedding day?
Robin: We laugh about it now because we were very poor. We both grew up poor, but we created our wedding ceremony for ourselves. We have a wedding picture that we were looking at earlier and my wedding dress cost $100. I had to put it in layaway back then and pay $5 a week for it. He’s wearing a white tuxedo and I still kick myself, like, “Why did I put him in a white tuxedo?” I’m thinking maybe it was because it was less expensive than renting a black one.
We got married in the chapel of the church. We had a little reception where we had punch and cookies. But we couldn’t really afford a photographer, so we just had friends and family take the photos.
Does the date hold any significance?
Dr. Phil: Before we got married, I said, “Look, I’m in psychology. You can do nothing with a bachelor’s degree in psychology, you have to at least get a master’s degree so you can practice.” I said, “At least let me get my master’s degree so I can put a roof over our head.” So I got my master’s degree on August 14, 1976. We got married August 14, 1976. I didn’t waste a minute.
What about your honeymoon?
Dr. Phil: We took a honeymoon and we wound up that night in Juarez, Mexico, at Club Campestre Juarez. It was, like, a 6,000-square-foot room. It had, like, five bedrooms.
Robin: But then we got to California and part of our honeymoon was to go to The Price Is Right show and we did. We still have the little name tags that you wear. Then many years later, Philip had the honor of presenting Bob Barker …
Dr. Phil: When he retired, I was there. We didn’t get picked for contestants back in the day or we were on the list.
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Have you considered having another ceremony 50 years later?
Robin: We haven’t actually thought of that. Why haven’t I put you in a beautiful black tux and bought a dress instead of putting one on layaway? But we just haven’t. We haven’t really felt like it’s necessary to do that because we’re so proud of our 50 years. We celebrate every anniversary with a wedding cake. It’s just been our tradition.
I’m really proud of that one ceremony and how it has progressed.
Dr. Phil: Her wedding dress was $100 and $315 for her wedding ring. But I see people spend millions on weddings and they last a year. We spent less than $500 bucks on everything and it’s stuck for 50 years. So pretty good Return on Investment.
What have been some of the biggest challenges you’ve navigated together?
Dr. Phil: Every relationship has challenges and it’s how much you invest in something. Probably the scariest moment in my whole life was when our second son, Jordan, was 12 and he got diagnosed with a really bizarre and rare cancer in the shin of his leg. They had to do an operation and put in artificial bone. … That was probably the most scared and helpless I’ve been in the 75 years of my life.
Robin: There’s nothing more challenging than to face an ordeal or a trauma with your children. When our first son was born, he was just 3 weeks old and he had to go in for surgery because his stomach was slowly growing shut … and he was not getting nourished.
How has your faith helped bring you even closer together during these times?
Robin: We both have a very, very strong faith and we do rely on that every day — in trauma and in joy. It’s very important to us to have our faith with us. I’ve always believed that whatever we’re going through — good or bad — it is because of God’s love. That’s part of a plan and so we question nothing.
Dr. Phil: It’s been really important to raise our boys in a faith-based home. I’ve always tried to emphasize that with both of them — through prayer and conversation — and we raised them up in the church and now they’re both fathers.
I’ve been so proud of the way they’ve stepped up and you see generational legacy carried out.
After you got married, Dr. Phil’s star was on the rise. How did you navigate that success as a couple?
Robin: I’ve always thought that Philip was brilliant, and when he had this opportunity to take on this new experience in life, I was all for it. I was thrilled. We all were because we thought you needed to share what you know and who you are with the world.
Being in the public eye obviously leads to outside opinions. What is the biggest misconception people who don’t know you have about you as a couple?
Dr. Phil: It’s not fun for anybody, but I’ve never been one of those people that needs to be loved by strangers. It doesn’t mean that you don’t notice it, but we’ve had so many stories written about us. I was identified as a marriage and family [specialist] and all that kind of stuff. There were probably 50 to 100 stories written about us getting a divorce. And here we are, 50 years married. We’ve never even been separated. We’ve never even spoken the D-word in our lives. Never, ever, for even one second.
Robin: The only time I’ve been to a courthouse is because I was the national spokesperson for CASA [Court Appointed Special Advocates for Children]. But for me to go to the courthouse was not ever because of this man.
The only problem with it for me was the photos they would choose to use. It was like, “Can I not get a good photo? Do they have to pick these photos?” I’ll never forget the one time I got a good photo, I made the best dinner that night.
What would the outside world be most surprised about when it comes to you as individuals and your marriage? What does a typical Friday night look like for you?
Robin: A Friday night for us is he works really hard all day. He plays tennis in the evenings and we have a tennis court in our backyard in our Dallas home. He’ll come in and we order food that we enjoy from a restaurant in town — I don’t cook anymore. I cooked for 40 years and I don’t cook that much anymore.
But he has the food apps on his phone. He’s tried to put them on my phone, but I refuse because I don’t want to be responsible for getting the food that we’re going to eat in the evening. He has to do that.
Dr. Phil: We really enjoy our home. We have friends that we love to spend time with and we love being home alone too. We stay busy, but we’re pretty much homebodies. We still have our home in Beverly Hills and we have a home here in Texas. But you’ve never seen us on a lot of red carpets because that’s just not something we really do. We’re always invited and we graciously decline.
If we go out, we may go nowhere.
What about for your anniversary?
Robin: He is taking me to Paris for our anniversary.
Dr. Phil: Well, the pressure is on. It’s been 50 years. But we enjoy each other’s company and we enjoy being at home. Right now we have a cat farm after we actually started feeding some community cats around here. At one point, we had 16 cats coming over to get fed.
Then we realized this is going to get out of control. So we captured them all and had them all spayed or neutered. But we’ve got, like, five cat dishes in a row outside and water. We have to put heaters out there in the winter to keep them warm and fans out.
And you are still working?
Dr. Phil: Yes. Everything now is moving so much in the digital direction. I have a linear network, Envoy TV, but you know, everything is moving so much in the digital direction, so we’re very active on all the streamers. It’s just growing so fast. I thought that it would go well. I had no idea it would go as well as it’s going. So it’s just been amazing.
Robin, what has been the best part of joining your husband on this professional venture?
Robin: I’ve always said I was there to support him and the entire show, so I didn’t really have a role there. I wasn’t some expert that was a part of the show. I really went there as a support for him. So if I was on the show, it was because I was just there as a woman, a wife, a mother, a grandmother. So if I contributed in any way, it was so that I could just be myself.
Dr. Phil: I think she’s really understating her role. A big part of my demo has always been women — mothers and wives — and Robin has always been my feminine side. She has been one of the most important voices and ambassadors in fighting domestic violence from the standpoint of women and children. So to say she didn’t really have a role other than just kind of be there to cheer me on, there are a lot of people — including me — that would disagree with that. She has played a vital role in developing the Dr. Phil brand and making sure that it was balanced from the feminine side and being a leading voice in the fight against domestic violence.
Dr. Phil, after spending your career helping couples, is there one piece of insight you picked up?
Dr. Phil: [Going back to Robin’s advocacy], the opportunity to take her wisdom forward and share it with others is what makes it all worthwhile. Robin has been a vital part of that and I’ve learned from it. That’s why I’m not quitting.
I feel like I have things left to say and I hope when people look at us — we don’t hold ourselves out as some paragon of mental health or marital bliss — but I do think having gotten together and stayed together for 50 years and raised kids that went through it all and became good fathers and husbands, it’s maybe a place for people to look and say, “You can do this, and you can make it pay off. And there is a light at the end of the tunnel.”
I hope we can be good role models in that regard. Not that we’re perfect, because we’re not. We don’t strive for perfection. But I hope that we give people some hope that there’s something out there to strive for.
You are still just as booked and busy.
Dr. Phil: My career … I get to do it. I don’t have to do it. It’s not something I have to do. So I look forward to it every day. And Robin supported me in everything I’ve ever done. That’s no small deal. That is no small deal to have a partner that supports you in everything you do.
If you could go back and give your younger selves one piece of relationship advice, what would it be?
Robin: The advice I would give to my younger self is probably not [to] carry into what worked in my childhood, expecting it to work in my marriage. I was a bit spoiled or pampered growing up. So pouting worked for me. If I didn’t get my way or didn’t get what I wanted, I just pouted and my father would give in right away.
I thought it would work with my husband and it did not work with him. He just couldn’t tolerate it. He said, “If I do or say something that upsets you — within reason — I promise you that if you just tell me, I will never do it again.”
Dr. Phil: I would tell myself to be more patient, because patience is not my strong suit. Professionally, I am patient. Personally, I don’t have patience. I want everything done right now. I would be more patient and I would probably be more outgoing because I’m very, very shy.
People often ask about the “secret” to a lasting marriage. Is there something you try to implement in your marriage?
Dr. Phil: In a marriage, you get out of it what you put into it. If you wake up every day and say, “What can I do today to make her life better?” It doesn’t have to be buy[ing] her a new car or send[ing] her flowers.
Like, there are certain things — and I don’t know if it matters as much to her as it does to me. But there’s something about her sitting in front of dirty dishes. I think she should have better than that. So I will clear those away if I go by and see it. That would just make things better if she had a nice clear space.
Robin: A secret that I truly believe has worked for 50 years is we had a lot of conversations before we got married about what kind of marriage we wanted to have. We got really vulnerable and we got real. In those conversations, I learned what buttons I could push to upset him or make him mad. I learned those buttons and I choose every day for 50 years not to push those buttons. I [made] a choice every day for 50 years not to do that.
Dr. Phil: I came from a very dysfunctional family — [an] incredibly dysfunctional family. So I just like peace.
Robin: So when you know what’s going to upset your partner and you do it anyway, that’s not good. I know what makes him happy and I choose to do that.
