A gender role tale as told as time.
One frustrated husband is wondering if he’s in the wrong for expecting his stay-at-home wife to take care of their home since he’s the one supporting them — and shockingly, many strangers on the internet are siding with him.
He provided more context in the r/AITA forum on Reddit, writing: “I work 40hrs a week and my wife stays home. She decided she wanted to be a sahm (stay-at-home-mom), and despite me not agreeing, she did it anyway. I told her dual-income was better because if one of us lost our jobs we’d still be okay, but she said she didn’t want to ‘miss out’ on her son’s elementary years.”
He went on to explain that the duo has been married for a year, together for three and she has a 10-year-old son. “Recently, I heard her complaining to her sister on the phone that I just get home and immediately start playing video games,” he wrote.
“I later confronted her about it, and she said she expects me to do 50% of the household labor. I disagreed, because on top of my 40 hr job, I also handle 100% of the finances and 100% of the car and house maintenance like cutting the yard, trimming trees, or when something breaks.”
“She says she’s carrying a lot of mental load, and I told her I am too. She seems to think hers is more than mine, but again, I disagree,” the hubby explained.
Oftentimes, people are ready to rip the husband in these sorts of marital situations. However, in this case, most commenters on the post defended the husband.
Many went to the extreme of advising him to leave his wife.
“Been down this road — will lead to resentment and hate on both sides. Recommend you get out now. Also, if tables turned would she still do 50% of the housework?”
“You’re only married for a year. You don’t have children together. Get out now — lesson learned.”
Others pointed out why his wife is to blame here.
“She doesn’t want to be a SAHM. She wants to be a trophy.”
“When your kid is that old and not being home schooled or something, calling yourself a SAHM is a bit of a stretch in my personal opinion. What is she doing during the 7-8 hours her son is at school? Probably not the cleaning the whole time.”
“NTA. I wouldn’t even bother with the therapy, its just another expense YOU will have to pay. I think you know what you need to do. Until then, just make sure you don’t get her pregnant…. EVER.”
This husband might be complaining about his marriage’s dynamic but at least he’s not hiding his salary from her, like others are.
“He’s never disclosed how much money he makes annually or given me any insight into his finances,” the man’s wife wrote in the r/AITA Reddit forum.
“He also bought our new house without me being present or even knowing he purchased it, saying it was a surprise,” the OP shared. “I did tour it before and really liked it so it wasn’t an issue, it’s just the fact that I was not included in this decision-making.”
