This heist is truly nuts!

A thief snatched a beloved antique walrus penis bone from behind the bar at the famed Camden, NJ cheesesteak joint Donkey’s Place — and staffers are blubbering mad. 

“She went to the back to do something else and then one dude stole it,” Lucas said. “We got his picture, but I don’t think he’s from around town.”

A group of three men who had been “drinking for hours” asked to see the walrus penis bone — and then one of  them bolted with it, according to the bartender involved. Facebook/Mia Panella
The bone is a good luck charm at Donkey’s Place in Camden. Facebook/Mia Panella
Surveillance footage of the thief leaving with the bone. Facebook/Mia Panella

The walrus wiener has served as a conversation piece at the restaurant — which Anthony Bourdain once praised as the area’s “best cheesesteak” spot — for years alongside other knickknacks like a megalodon tooth.

But on Jan. 30, a group of three men who had been “drinking for hours” asked to see the artifact — and then one of  them bolted with it, according to the bartender involved.

“I can’t even believe he did this… let’s find the guy who stole Donkey’s you-know-what,” she said in a TikTok post the next day.

The bar’s owner doesn’t want to press charges as long as the bone is returned. Facebook/Mia Panella

The post shows the alleged bone bandit grinning with a beard and clutching a cocktail before leaving with the loot.

“If the person who stole it is watching this, please bring it back. Not the same without it,” she said in the video.

Lucas, meanwhile,  said he doesn’t want to press charges, and simply wants the decades-old dong returned to its perch.

“We just want the thing back,” he pleaded.

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