Pro surfer Koa Smith is opening up about his past mental health struggles in a candid Instagram post celebrating his 30th birthday.
“Oh Man… 30 years old and what a trip this life is! No one told me that with every year life as an opportunity just gets better. Slowly the rules of the game uncover day by day,” the athlete posted on Friday, January 3. “The magic just gets thicker, the colors more clear, the purpose refined, the love that surrounds me grows. My connection to life only gets deeper. I am so grateful.”
Smith, 30, went on to explain that “at times” he closes his eyes and goes back “to visit the version of myself that was struggling.”
“Concussed, depressed, suicidal, heartbroken,” he continued in the moving post, which also featured numerous photos of the surfer riding big waves, spending times with friends and enjoying the beach. “I put my hand on his heart and say it’s all worth it! You just wait, it all worth it!”
He concluded, “Thankful for everyone of you! Let the Abundance Flow and the light shine bright!”
In a March 2022 interview with The Independent, Smith opened up about a catastrophic injury he sustained while surfing in Indonesia that resulted in the surfer experiencing mental health issues.
“I heard this crazy, super peaceful violin,” he told the publication at the time, referring to the moment he crashed while attempting to ride a wave. “I had one of those moments where I was above the whole bay looking down. I could see my friends in the lineup. I could see the boats in the bay. I could see the mountains. Then all of a sudden I realized that I was actually underwater.”
He continued: “I felt maybe I was leaving my body. The weird thing was it was a very comfortable, very loving, euphoric state. There was no fear. It was just like being home.”
The somewhat euphoric feeling was short-lived — when the surfer regained consciousness, he could not recall his own name or his address. As a result of the crash, Smith said he suffered a severe concussion and later realized “something just broke” inside of him.
“I couldn’t even function anymore,” he explained at the time. “I had to spend 10 hours a day in my bed in the dark and just kind of figure out what I wanted to do from there.”
After struggling with his mental health despite seeing doctors, Smith told The Independent he decided to try psilocybin mushrooms as part of his “healing process.”
“It took me back to my childhood, that fire inside me as a child,” he explained. “It reminded me that I was a good person and that I was here to do good in this world. It reminded me that I should use my head injury as a guide to healing.”
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org.
