The unboxing: an ultimate nipple push-bra – as the name suggests – does a lot simultaneously. It’s cushioned like a hotel memory foam pillow that will give you a crooked neck. I wasn’t expecting to be upholstered with a pneumatic cleavage, and – compared to the overall illusion of enlargement – the faux nipples themselves are small, relatively inconspicuous moulded bumps on the smooth outer surface of the bra.
How to style it? I opted for Miu Miu’s fall 2023 charcoal knit twinset as a nod to the “sweater girl” look of 1940s and ’50s Hollywood. The fine wool sets worn by film stars Lana Turner and Patti Page put an emphasis on the bust-line in a way that we largely don’t these days. But, as the hyper-ironic tenets of Y2K style once again slip from view, the incoming 1950s fashion revival has my full attention this season (scan your IG feed for penny loafers, knee-grazing kilts, bobby socks, preppy cashmere cardigans and ponytail ribbons). I picked out a navy pencil skirt, added opaque tights, and left for the office.
The first thing I noted was how unbelievably comfortable the bra is. It’s lightweight, nothing digs in, and the fabric is butter-soft. Unless you’re wearing a skin-tight top in an ultra-lightweight fabric, the faux nipples are barely visible. But, that’s the point.
Going sans bra (or the appearance of going without) is a tip lifted straight from the editorial styling handbook. “You can ruin a look by putting a bra underneath,” warns Vogue’s shopping editor, Jessica Geradi. “It can detract from the design, and alter the silhouette.” In the case of Skims, the mere hint of nipple gives the bra’s padded boost a more natural look and guarantees added support. As with all Skims underwear it comes in sizes 30-44 and cups A-F, but right now, somewhat unsurprisingly, it’s sold out.
The crucial question: did any of my colleagues spot that I was wearing the faux nipple bra? No, they didn’t. I asked our acting beauty director (the beauty department has a reliably forensic eye for spotting anything new, altered, done) if anything looked… different.
“Did you change your hair?”
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